tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post8651267008538881830..comments2024-03-14T11:50:14.761-04:00Comments on DarwinCatholic: Early Marriage Through Rose-colored GlassesDarwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572976822786862149noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-69236244130335711772010-02-19T13:09:10.781-05:002010-02-19T13:09:10.781-05:00There is nothing that I have done as a single pers...There is nothing that I have done as a single person - graduate school, Peace Corps, working in the corporate world - that I could not have done as a married person. <br /><br />I just didn't meet the right man until I was 42. I wish I had met my husband when we were both in our 20s. We would have been young enough to have children together. But it didn't happen that way. I'm just happy I did find him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-69418164921371461962010-02-19T00:26:42.911-05:002010-02-19T00:26:42.911-05:00This topic was discussed at another blog some time...This topic was discussed at another blog some time ago - here it is http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/?p=445 -- in response to a Protestant book out about the benefits of marrying young. The blog writer had a failed early marriage, so was put off by the suggestion that marrying young was a good thing. It was an interesting discussion, although the comments had a condescending tone.<br /><br />Your point that portraying early marriage as easy and preferable when it isn't always might is well made. Of course, as another person who married young, I also support the idea that it can work. And I love that the author quotes JP II, whose writing influenced my decision to marry young by convincing me that life with the man I loved raising a family would be a better way to get my soul in shape for heaven than finishing a grad degree or doing volunteer work or teaching (or other measly paying choices available to liberal arts majors - not that those can't be roads to heaven also). My husband and I married right after he graduated at age 23 (I had a year on my own) and had a baby 9 months later. 13+ years later we're still going strong, despite the challenges you rightly point out. But I wonder if we had married shortly after we first fell in love at 19 if the marriage would've lasted. Did we need a couple years to grow up? There are plenty of 19 yr olds who are more mature than we were, by young romance can be mistaken for the real thing when it isn't always. And not everyone finds the real thing in their 20's. But it was easier to do the sleepless nights and chase toddlers in my early 20s with my olders than it was in my early 30s with my youngers. And certainly marriage and childrearing have provided voluminous opportunities to learn about forgiveness, humility, selflessness, and all those other virtues that lead the soul closer to God instead of further away. (Not that I've mastered them or anything - just have plenty of opportunities to practice them.) Maybe age isn't as important as both spouses being willing to try to die to self.Emily J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01132106976424535611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-38295354963119933282010-02-18T13:09:14.324-05:002010-02-18T13:09:14.324-05:00My husband and I married 8 years ago--before we we...My husband and I married 8 years ago--before we were even finished with college. We'd been dating since high school, he had a good job, and we were tired of waiting. We both finished our degrees, and we've had three kids so far. Things have been good, but far from easy much of the time. It's been hard for me sometimes to avoid envying my friends who are still single--they are traveling, writing, pursuing doctorates. All of which are things I would like to do. After a long night of nursing a baby, and then getting up with a cranky toddler, the single life can look awfully good. Of course, I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's, but it's often hard. Trying to sell this kind of life as the easier way of doing things is a bit misleading.<br /><br />--Elizabeth B.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-62250534596406175992010-02-17T00:04:28.605-05:002010-02-17T00:04:28.605-05:00My earlier comment was useless so I would just lik...My earlier comment was useless so I would just like to add that I agree with your extremely well-phrased post and have found the comments perceptive, as well.<br /><br />Is that better?<br /><br />You know, I always read everything here but I never comment unless it involves diapers.<br /><br />I suppose this post does, in a way, involve diapers.<br /><br />I found the tone of the article ineffective in preaching to anyone but the choir. The statistics were interesting but something about the ending with "free to kiss my wife and my house smells like fresh-baked bread" set me off, EVEN THOUGH I am a wife who enjoys baking bread. Perhaps I feel that I was free to discover that on my own after trying out my other options (not being a wife, not baking bread, applying to the Peace Corps but chickening out) due to my marrying a few years later than the author. (age 25, husband age 28)Dorian Speedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09437677114445411990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-57592683499553180032010-02-16T21:28:08.977-05:002010-02-16T21:28:08.977-05:00Wow, I never considered that my husband and I marr...Wow, I never considered that my husband and I married early, the summer after we both graduated college, until a year later when a new acquaintance mentioned it. Maybe it was college-specific scenario, but it felt like a third of our classmates at Texas A&M were engaged by the time we graduated.Mama Hobbithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09424901121391275830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-27660115009049580992010-02-16T18:57:10.585-05:002010-02-16T18:57:10.585-05:00I found this sentence "Sure, you can save mon...I found this sentence <i>"Sure, you can save money sharing an apartment and cooking at home -- but you're certainly not going to want to live with your parents or take in roommates." </i> amusing. My husband and I started off our married life living in a townhouse with three other people (I was 22 for less then a month when we married).<br /><br /> When we first moved to an apartment expecting to live there by ourselves, we ended up taking people in during our stay there (extra bedroom, needy friends-these things happen). <br /><br />As for living with parents, my inlaws and parents are marvelous people because it worked out when we had to do so.<br /><br />While we will never regret marrying as early as we did, I'll agree that it can complicate matters.ekbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13325242010077520818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-61179391503492345762010-02-16T09:02:12.224-05:002010-02-16T09:02:12.224-05:00Thought-provoking post. I'm always fascinated ...Thought-provoking post. I'm always fascinated by the "already/not yet" conundrum in the Christian life in which we have graces and powers that unbelievers have not and yet it doesn't always <i>feel</i> that way. (A visiting priest on Sunday mentioned how he was given the grace of obedience when he was transferred to another parish despite his wishes; similarly goes the gift of chastity. Do we tend to think of gifts as easy when they can be hard?)TShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17118362963139092279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-71913051918139619242010-02-16T08:21:14.042-05:002010-02-16T08:21:14.042-05:00I thought of you two when I read that article and ...I thought of you two when I read that article and wondered what you'd think. Now, I need wonder no more!Dorian Speedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09437677114445411990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-26106068465250877212010-02-16T05:17:29.957-05:002010-02-16T05:17:29.957-05:00I married when I was 23 and my husband was 27 and ...I married when I was 23 and my husband was 27 and that was soon 8 years ago. It has not been easy (having to move abroad, chronic illness, infertility, stuff like that) but it has been, as you say, good and fulfilling. I can't imagine how aimless my life would have been if I hadn't married... But I don't need to imagine it, I can just look at my younger sisters. :-( <br /><br />Just a little anecdotal evidence in support of your argument.Rebekkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13536021238594385545noreply@blogger.com