Saturday, September 13, 2025

The Blog Is Dead, Long Live The Blog

Back in June I completely missed the 20th anniversary of this little plot of internet.  I knew that it was happening, but we were in the middle of so much real life (a musical that MrsDarwin was putting on, various family events and tribulations) that I completely failed to post about it.

It's one of those odd aspects of modern life that any member of the public who happens to be interested can look back and see what 26-year-old me had to say -- someone who had not yet settled on the field (pricing) which has become my career for the last eighteen years, someone who had then only two children rather than the seven we have now.

And then, over the course of several thousand posts over 20 years, you can see all the things which I chose to write publicly from that day to this.  Blogging has a clear living in public aspect to it.

At the time, I think I had half an idea of the blog eventually leading to some sort of larger career as a writer.  Lots of people did make that transition over the intervening years.  But although I've had a novel published and become a contributor of data journalism to PillarCatholic.com, overall I think one must say that I've not been successful as a blogger, in the sense that my work has not consistently led to larger audiences and wider opportunities for publication.

And in recent years, we've come to write a lot less.  Some of this is because other areas of life have become increasingly busy.  When we started writing, we had a couple of toddlers, and while children that age require supervision and diaper changes, you don't have to spend much time helping them plan for college, make their budgets, or apply for car loans.  And we ourselves were personally involved in far less back then: community theater, boy scouts, choir, community chorus, youth groups, finance council, liturgy committee, various classes and clubs.  I hardly know what all we do these days.

When you're a parent in your mid-twenties, you have a lot of spare time for an activity you can do while not leaving the house.  In your mid-forties -- less so.

But in many ways I'm glad that we did not end up becoming successful bloggers. In an online world dominated by algorithms, in which anger often drives engagement (whether it's stirring it up against others or bringing it down on oneself) there are very strong incentives drawing people to the low road. There are people who have written for many years whom I continue to admire, but it's a narrow road.  If you're trying to make a living, there's all the more incentive to do what the masses want.

So while I would like to try to write more than I have in recent months and years, I am honestly grateful for how unsuccessful this blog is.  There's something freeing about knowing that so few people care what we say, and that we make no money from it.  It means there's less guilt when we go silent for protracted periods.  And it means I don't need to provide the needed take or worry about whether it will drive the needed traffic.

Indeed, one of the reasons I write so much less now than I did in the past is not just lack of time, but that over the years I've built up more and more ties with various people who might be hurt by various topics or think that I was writing pointedly about them.  And even the "this is what it's like raising a family" kind of writing become a very different matter when you're dealing with teens and adults who have a legitimate desire not to have their affairs talked about.

I have a lot I think about in regards to what it's like to try to raise and support adult children as they take their early steps into the world, but whereas I don't think there's a particular privacy to "here's what we're reading to the three year old" or "this is how bedtime is going" I very much think that people have a legitimate expectation not to have their educational or relationship or career struggles written about without their consent.

Still, there's a glorious freedom in writing for a mostly unread blog.  As we move on through our third decade, I will endeavor to do so more often

10 comments:

  1. Karie Mitchell9/14/2025 2:10 PM

    Darwin, as someone who has been reading nearly since the beginning, I appreciate your insight and your wish to keep family members “from the spotlight”. While I enjoyed hearing about some of your parental struggles; I’ve much preferred your (and Mrs Darwin’s) takes on the outside world. I feel as though I’m listening to a good neighbor - someone I can identify and commiserate with. I hope to hear more about your world and how it shrinks and grows with each new chapter of life. Glad you and your wife still write! I enjoy the little updates now and again.

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  2. I've been reading your blog since about 2006. My wife and i are a few years younger, (and only up to six children) so always found the insights on marriage and family and parenting most poignant and illuminating

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  3. I have enjoyed your blog a lot. Hope Stillwater gets a publisher. Still looking forward to reading Friendship With Christ. Enjoyed the career updates. (I forwarded the one about starting with a Latin major to friends.) Best wishes to you and your family.

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  4. Many happy returns of the blog-day! I am glad you are both still writing, and that you are so thoughtful about your choices of topic. You inspire. And while I wish you all success with your novels and histories, I am grateful your blog hasn't become a book (or 2) and disappeared..... You had me worried with "dead" in the title!

    Big kids definitely take more time than I might have expected in the thick off toddler-time. Even after they're based elsewhere! I'm glad to be needed, but as one of my younger kids complained last year, "[College freshman] is STILL taking all your time, and she's not even HERE!"

    But... how have we all gotten so old?

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  5. Thanks guys. I'm kind of amazed and humbled that so many longtime readers are still out there, and managed to find this post despite the fact that I didn't even link to it anywhere.

    I will indeed be trying to continue to write more often.

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  6. I remember happening across your blog back when I started seminary, so 2009 I guess. Definitely haven't read every post (and fell off completely for a year or so when Google pulled the plug on their rss reader), but it's been wonderful to get y'alls family perspective over the years as I went the celibate route. Many thanks for what you've written thus far, and I look forward to future posts!

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  7. Hi, I don't remember if I've ever commented publicly before, but I've been reading your blog for years and enjoy both of yall's writing! Happy 20th anniversary!

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  8. Another very long-term reader since about 2010. Yours is one of the very few blogs from then still going, and many of the old ones can’t even be found! I miss those days when the internet was for reading and writing, not videos.

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  9. Ok, I’m making my first ever comment, but I’ve been reading your blog basically since the beginning (2005 or 06). I think I found it through Jen Fulwiler’s original blog? But I was 19 and in college and you two seemed so grown up and wise and like you had it all together. I’ve always felt a bit guilty about peeping in on your lives and not contributing in return, so I think this is a good moment to say thank you. In the early years of adulthood (and onward), your blog, and the ones you linked to on the side, truly helped me grow in faith and embrace my eventual vocation as wife and mother. You are both gifted writers whose posts are always so humble, down-to-earth and truly meaningful. As I’ve watched many of the older blogs fizzle out and become abandoned over the years, I’ve cherished your sporadic postings even more. Thank you for these bits of your life. Don’t underestimate the good it’s done for the world (and gosh does the world need it).
    Also, in my eyes y’all are literally celebrity bloggers.

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  10. Since I found you through this blog, I'm very happy for its existence and that both of you have been writing and still write. I quite agree with the choice of keeping your family away from the spotlight too, although reading about your earlier experiences gave me a feeling of connection I didn't expect with people I haven't even met in person and provided a link over the gap betwen (somewhat) different cultures. I look forward to your future posts!

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