tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post4846470391426955714..comments2024-03-28T17:53:43.541-04:00Comments on DarwinCatholic: Culture CrashDarwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572976822786862149noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-51332349408072507232009-07-22T13:20:26.554-04:002009-07-22T13:20:26.554-04:00After reading this article, I felt the same way as...After reading this article, I felt the same way as a lot of the commenters here. I was so sad for the woman in question.<br /><br />It is a matter of priorities and balance. I have been married almost 25 years to the love of my life. Reading about their lives is like watching Sex and the City (which my wife and I watched exactly once). Sad, horny people getting their rocks off separately rather than joining their bodies, souls and spirits in joy as close to heaven as we get here on earth.<br /><br />Makes me grateful for how God has blessed me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-26067848197023381062009-07-22T12:43:07.739-04:002009-07-22T12:43:07.739-04:00Wow, how incredibly sad. What the last commenter ...Wow, how incredibly sad. What the last commenter said hit me as well - they never tried to build a life together, just lives that ran next to each other and intersected occasionally when mutually convenient. And now that it doesn't seem to be mutually convenient... well, why bother?<br /><br />This article reminds me of something that happened to me back when I lived in suburbia. I was part of a book group - half were younger moms (late 20's, early 30's) and the other half were older moms (early 40's). The older moms all had beautiful homes, two children a piece, very nice stuff and with the exception of one (who, interestingly, was the only one who had four kids instead of two) were very unhappy. One meeting in particular really stands out - we met at the house of a woman who's husband is a exec VP for a large company and as she proceeded to consume an entire bottle of wine the vitriol she spewed about her husband got worse and worse. The loathing she felt for him - my goodness. We all didn't quite know what to do other than try to change the subject and keep the wine away from her. I left the get together at the point where she was trying to get everyone to play some drinking game. It was very, very sad and I wonder what ended up happening to her. That was the last meeting she went to, and she stopped responding to emails and such after that. I wonder if she was embarrassed or despondent or a little bit of both.Amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12689104216675201913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-41701982709503391452009-07-20T13:41:48.265-04:002009-07-20T13:41:48.265-04:00It struck me when reading this article, from the w...It struck me when reading this article, from the way the author describes her marriage, that they've never really had a life <i>together</i>. They've been running life in paralell, each of them pursuing what they want for themselves, neither sacrificing much of anything to build up their spouse. Very little active <i>loving</i> of the spouse there.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16539133854675715353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-34343409294726158672009-07-20T09:47:23.513-04:002009-07-20T09:47:23.513-04:00I wonder if these people will ever realize that th...I wonder if these people will ever realize that this worldview that assumes that the meaning of life is to seek as much autonomy as possible is making them miserable.<br /><br />Anyway, excellent analysis. Really interesting read.Jennifer @ Conversion Diaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11894992378619176830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-6802215489501929202009-07-19T15:03:46.140-04:002009-07-19T15:03:46.140-04:00Would that I could claim credit, Melody--I think i...Would that I could claim credit, Melody--I think it's been used in business and military circles before.<br /><br />Off-topic, but I figured it might intrigue Darwin--<i>Dante's Inferno</i> is now a <a href="http://www.dantesinferno.com/home.action" rel="nofollow">video game</a>!CMinorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07305306030099439903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-86900987107372811882009-07-19T10:33:29.872-04:002009-07-19T10:33:29.872-04:00"Let children between the ages of 1 and 5 be ..."Let children between the ages of 1 and 5 be raised in a household of mothers and their female kin."<br /><br />So sad. Sounds like polygamy to me. Don't the muslims do that? And we all have heard how their women are treated.<br /><br />The Bible says it, "you reap what you sow". Obviously, atheistic feminism is bringing in a bumper crop...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-64308923480914196922009-07-19T08:59:09.449-04:002009-07-19T08:59:09.449-04:00Shortly before getting engaged, I stumbled across ...Shortly before getting engaged, I stumbled across a marriage-prep book. Most of it I've forgotten, but one thing stuck and stayed: that marriage isn't 50-50, it's 100-100; you have to give ALL of yourself to it. Trying to live that is one reason why the Bride and I are coming up on 19 years.Bob the Apehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08303535277957530100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-48594798849772426712009-07-19T08:20:39.099-04:002009-07-19T08:20:39.099-04:00"...a generation of seagulls --fly in, mess e..."...a generation of seagulls --fly in, mess everything up, fly out, make a mess somewhere else." I'll have to remember that; that's a good one!Melody Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00442985285647041700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-86480447153796954172009-07-18T15:55:42.718-04:002009-07-18T15:55:42.718-04:00A-MEN to your coworker and the last sentence, BTW....A-MEN to your coworker and the last sentence, BTW.CMinorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07305306030099439903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-5795460765357991222009-07-18T15:50:20.976-04:002009-07-18T15:50:20.976-04:00A few observations:
--It takes a bit of parsing t...A few observations:<br /><br />--It takes a bit of parsing to get to the crux of that first paragraph: She had a fling. She doesn't come right out and say it; it seems something not that she chose, but something that happened to her ("I don't even enjoy men...") Bunkum. She screwed things up; nobody else did, and she didn't have to. Evidently she lacks the maturity or integrity to even acknowlege it for what it is. <br /><br />--The author complains that her life is too "cluttered" for her to take the time to rekindle romance with her husband, but seems to have had time for an affair. Maybe I'm just a boring old builder, but I've occasionally reflected that, were I abysmally unhappy in my marriage (and personal integrity were no object), I don't know when I would find the time to have an affair. (The extensive Mark Sanford coverage we've been getting around here lately has given me cause for reflection.) Date night once a week with the guy you're supposed to be sleeping with anyway is much easier to arrange. <br /><br />--That the author is apparently the product of an unhappy (perhaps abusive?) marriage herself is likely coloring her views.<br /><br />--That a family therapist is her "shaman, mother, and priest" speaks volumes about her attitude as well.<br /><br />--Her "support group" is a train wreck unto itself. Nobody in it seems to have unsolvable problems, but no one seems really interested in trying to solve them. They're handy excuses. We've become a generation of seagulls --fly in, mess everything up, fly out, make a mess somewhere else. <br /><br />--I'm intrigued that all the high-powered, successful contempories of mine profiled in the article have no sex lives. Wasn't the sexual revolution supposed to have changed that?CMinorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07305306030099439903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-35700588904341882732009-07-18T14:45:33.426-04:002009-07-18T14:45:33.426-04:00I want to know what The Atlantic is going to publi...I want to know what The Atlantic is going to publish in the fall! Spring: no need to breastfeed your annoying baby; Hanna Rosin says so (and hey, she has zero public health credentials but she can do incendiary rhetoric nicely). Summer: no need to stay married to your annoying husband; you could have an affair instead. Fall: why you should eat your young? The hidden joys of matricide? One can only imagine.Jamiehttp://mostgladly.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-66165968486801175872009-07-18T14:13:14.678-04:002009-07-18T14:13:14.678-04:00The last sentence of the quote is very telling, in...The last sentence of the quote is very telling, in which she describes love as "demonstrably fleeting". She is defining love as a feeling. If that feeling is gone, or has gotten misplaced, then people think love is gone. It has been said that "Love is a decision" (yeah, I got that from Marriage Encounter). They need more of a sense that love is something they have chosen to do, a committment.<br />The other thing that comes to mind is that she is at a difficult age. Perimenopause has probably kicked in. Been there. There are times when you feel very irritable and stressed. The overload of things which "have" to be done doesn't help at this point. You really do need to simplify and de-stress; but getting rid of your husband isn't the way to do it. It helps to remember that you are going through a phase, and that things will be better later, if you don't burn your bridges.Melody Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00442985285647041700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-47814627372968954262009-07-18T09:55:57.944-04:002009-07-18T09:55:57.944-04:00I read the same article and felt nothing but pity ...I read the same article and felt nothing but pity for someone to have such a bleak outlook on life and love. I hope her children don't have to read that until they're much older.<br /><br />But the article is maybe a good one to have out there -- Perhaps it should be required reading for engaged couples. Not that they should take away from it what the author thinks they should, but that they should see what hopelessness and sorrow comes from selfish assumptions. It's just so plain that the author dug this pit for herself, and that it does not have to be this way.bearinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07953735060133330755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13522238.post-56552916945357776972009-07-17T15:59:16.447-04:002009-07-17T15:59:16.447-04:00I appreciate how you ended your say by turning the...I appreciate how you ended your say by turning the co-workers phrase on its head and making it selfless. The first thing I thought as I read the Atlantic Monthly author's description was, "She doesn't see her relationships with her kids and husband as a gift or vocation, she sees them as a burden or a job." We have made marriage a business arrangement: What's in it for me? Is it as good or better than what's in it for you?The River Yetihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00825593738234722818noreply@blogger.com