Miss Manners reminds her gentle readers that it is beyond gauche to request gifts, and this is advice to which I have striven always to adhere. I have never been a fan of the ubiquitous "gift registry" and signed up for one before my wedding only with the greatest reluctance and at the repeated urging of my mother and relatives from out of state. And now, as baby shower time approaches, my friends who want to organize the party have been asking me what I want or need. Gentle readers, what do you think? Is it out of bounds to mention a few items when directly asked to do so? It seems that a gift should be just that, unsolicited, and not simply a response to a request. On the other hand, when does it become rude to keep putting off someone who truly wants to know what to buy one?
Next week is my home visit from the midwife at 36 weeks, so preparation for that continues anon. I've ordered my midwife's suggested birth kit and have moved all the baby apparatus into the master bedroom (which gives the big girls more space in their bedroom, so everyone's happy). I'm counting out towels and washcloths to pack away for the birth, looking for sheets, and making a shopping list of supplies to lay in. Now it's time to price out newborn diapers at Sam's and buy treats for Babs to encourage her to use the potty -- hey, she got it right the other night!
Smaskig is unfazed by all the hoopla surrounding her imminent arrival. She amuses herself by poking a foot up into my ribs -- how does she get up so far? When I ask her what she wants, she is coy and replies that she ought not to request presents. Little snark!
You read Miss Manners too? Our sisterhood is complete! :-)
ReplyDeleteWhen you are directly asked, I would tell the person. I always like knowing that what I'm buying is something the person truly wants or needs, if possible.
ReplyDeleteHope things are well..God bless!!
Even Miss Manners would agree that answering when directly asked is okay. Presumably the people organizing the shower are not going to strong arm people into buying you certain items but merely want to be prepared with an answer when invitees ask them, "Do you know what she might like or need?"
ReplyDeleteP.S. I adore reading Miss Manners, but find it really sad to see the sorts of questions she's obliged to answer in her more recent books.
Telling folks what you'd like isn't asking for a gift-- they're already going to give you a gift, and it'd be rude to sabotage their attempt to get one you like by refusing to give 'em a hint!
ReplyDeleteGentle Reader,
ReplyDeleteWhile it is always gauche to request gifts, it is only common courtesy to answer when friends ask what you would like to receive in the way of a gift. In short, they wish to give you something that you would find useful or otherwise valuable. To refuse to answer is both to risk thwarting their quite reasonable desire to help you (and offending them), and to prevent you from receiving anything of use and value to you (and thus frustrating yourself).
I do hope that that clears matters up.
--Mr. Manners