Fanfic that must never be penned:
You may know her as the bright-eyed Victorian beauty popularized by the American Girl series, but by 1912 Samantha Parkington was a seductive 18-year-old heiress traveling home from her European Grand Tour. Educated, liberated, and uninhibited, she had turned heads across the continent, but not until the voyage home did she meet her match in the capable arms of the son of the 15th Duke of Denver, 22-year-old Lord Peter Wimsey. (Peter, a recent Oxford graduate, has been sent to America by his uncle to forget the flighty but beautiful Barbara.) The ship on which their passions ignite? A vessel as immense as their desires, the majestic, unsinkable Titanic.
Dear Lord, stop us now...
Write it.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds better than most fanfic crossovers I've read. There's no Buffy involved, so I say go for it!
Shades of Daisy Miller...what's with those guardians of hers that they failed to engage a respectable chaperone? Surely they'd heard all the horror stories of ship's officers seducing young ladies?
ReplyDeleteI bet Jeeves can get them out of this predicament.
ReplyDeleteAh, but you see, Jeeves is busy saving the world from Cthulhu.
ReplyDeleteHas It already been written? I'd like to read that...
ReplyDeleteNo, it's all in my little head, and I won't inflict in on the world. I will say that Lord Peter puts the ladies in a lifeboat, but Samantha gets out to rescue steerage passengers because she's a crusader and doesn't believe in steerage. Lord Peter jumps off the ship and ends up standing on top of an upside down lifeboat (historically accurate: Collapsible B), while Samantha dies because I say so.
ReplyDeleteD -- unfortunately, Samantha's aunt was also liberated; hence the lack of oversight.
Okay; how about the retired Englishman with the deerstalker cap and his retired physician sidekick? Or the sullen, dark-haired tramp from Vienna, perhaps as a stowaway, suspiciously eyeing Jews and trying to sell hand-painted postcards?
ReplyDeleteLord, deliver us indeed. If this is an extortion attempt, where is your list of demands?
(Seriously, I find it rather entertaining. Well done.)
LogEyed Roman
Oops--that was me above. I don't think D's ever read either Daisy Miller or the Samantha books.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing the Jeeves/Cthulhu showdown was a very limited edition. (Darn.) Shall we buy the copyright and bring it out in a mass-market paperback so we can afford to read it?