Saturday, October 03, 2009

Comfort for miscarriage

Thanks to Rich Leonardi for pointing me to this column by Fr. Rob Waller about miscarriage:
No words can take away the pain of miscarriage, although faith and time can lessen it. Some parents find the words of St. Bernard of Clairveuax helpful. He wrote to a couple that had a miscarriage. In response to their question, “What is going to happen to my child? The child didn’t get baptized,” St. Bernard said, “Your faith spoke for this child. Baptism for this child was only delayed by time. Your faith suffices. The waters of your womb — were they not the waters of life for this child? Look at your tears. Are they not like the waters of baptism? Do not fear this. God’s ability to love is greater than our fears. Surrender everything to God.”
Our own miscarriage was four years and two children ago, but it's still comforting to read St. Bernard's words.
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7 comments:

  1. Barb10/03/2009 12:22 PM

    I found comfort in those words too. Do you remember several years ago when I wrote about losing my son on my blog and that young man told me my baby was in hell? I was so grateful then how you and Darwin came to my rescue...

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  2. mrsdarwin10/03/2009 12:25 PM

    Barb,

    That was such a hideous thing for anyone to say, and completely lacking in any concept of Christian compassion. I think that St. Bernard is much closer to the heart of Christ.

    "God's ability to love is greater than our fears."

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  3. Enbrethiliel10/04/2009 12:15 PM

    +JMJ+

    That is a beautiful quote from St. Bernard! He wasn't called the Mellifluous Doctor for nothing!

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  4. Melanie Bettinelli10/04/2009 3:17 PM

    Beautiful. Thank you for sharing this. I never had a doubt that God honored my plea for my baby to be received into his arms when I realized I was miscarrying and in the middle of the night placed my hand over my cramping womb, whispered the baptismal formula and named our baby Francis. How terrible that anyone would tell a woman otherwise than that her faith was sufficient. Our God is a God of love and mercy, a perfect father, whose Son told us that a father would never hand his child a stone when he asked for bread. How could we want more for our children than he could give?

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  5. Bernard Brandt10/04/2009 5:25 PM

    Thank you, Mrsdarwin, for these kind and beautiful words from my name saint.

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  6. JoAnna Wahlund10/05/2009 7:26 PM

    Thank you so much for posting this. I've lost two babies to miscarriage, and this post was a beautiful reminder of the great trust we have in God's mercy regarding their souls.

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  7. Elena LaVictoire10/16/2009 9:11 AM

    The priest at my unbaptized stillborn son's funeral said that he was saved by Baptism of Desire. I brought that up on a Catholic Forum and was told that the priest was wrong, baptism of desire didn't count in our case and my son was not in heaven.

    I wish I knew St. Bernard's words then!

    Thanks for posting them.

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