Because most philosophies that frown on reproduction don't survive.

Sunday, May 03, 2020

What You Can Expect When You're Expecting an 18yo

A friend of mine recently said that she finally weighed what she did 18 years ago, and incidentally, her oldest daughter's 18th birthday was in a few days. I laughed, because I now weigh substantially more than I did 18 years ago, when I too was nine months pregnant. I'd say, "Ah, youth,", but really I don't want to be either 23 or nine months pregnant again, and I'm delighted to have a daughter who is 17 years and 358 days old.

But this put me in mind of a question it's rapidly growing too late to ask: what is it that should be done before a child turns 18? What sort of legal documentation or medical issues ought to be dealt with?

(I don't mean educationally or life-skills. After all, we already wrote the world's most definitive post on What Your 18-Year-Old Needs to Know, when we were only nine years away from 18 and knew damn-all everything and wrote 43 posts a month. 43 posts! We just don't know that much anymore.)

Get a checkup, you'll doubtless say, and go to the dentist. Normally I'd agree, but the dentist cancelled all our appointments, and the doctor isn't doing checkups right now.  We're willing to dig up all the documentation for her to get one of those schmancy new Federal ID licenses that airport security will accept as ID, except: can't go to the BMV right now. If there are any records we ought to request, any other appointments we ought to make, any papers we need to sign, I'd be glad to know about them. After all, I still have a week.


Emily J said...

We have a funny Real ID story - Before the quarantine hit, I took my daugher to the DMV for the for the final driver's test when she was still under 18, so this may not be an issue for you guys. I thought I had all of the necessary paperwork - birth certificate, passport, military ID (which is a federal ID, so technically we don't need the Real ID, but she'll expire as a dependent before the Real ID expires) and proof of residency. NONETHELESS, I still had to run home and get my marriage license because my maiden name is on her birth certificate and this name did not match my married name on my proof of residency. I can't decide if this was some neuroticism on the part of my particular DMV clerk to check all of the boxes, or some quirk in the federal system, but rather than argue about it, I just went and got it.

The roadbump we've hit with the over 18's are the insurance issues - we've had multiple incidents when we have to talk with the insurance company about covering a procedure they've had while at school, but the insurance company can't talk about it with us because of privacy laws since they are over 18. So there is a process of back and forth.

mandamum said...

Emily, I think generally people expect you to show up with your marriage license whenever your maiden name is on one doc.... at least, that's been my experience. But at least at the DMV, they don't *take* it (as opposed to the MA health dept that took my original as part of filing for birth certificate, and refused to give it back.... I had to request another, thanks MA).

I've already hit that insurance bump here in CA at age 12!, with trying to make doctor's appts and whatnot. My 12yo was too old for me to make online appointments for her, but too young to "make her own" online acct. So for a year, I had to call a horrendous appt line. And everyone over 12 has been...a process, with the privacy stuff. Not quite as bad as with an actual adult away at school, but I'm being hardened off, I guess.