Because most philosophies that frown on reproduction don't survive.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Orphan Openings: Cooking Edition

[It's time for a new feature on DarwinCatholic, and since we're much better at starting things than finishing them, the task of writing openings for fiction that we have no intention of completing seems an obvious one for us. We can promise many more, but for the quality improving, I cannot speak.]

Working in the hot kitchen often made Gertrude cross, and so it was with her stores of patience already depleted that she discovered that her husband, so often obstinate in life, refused to fit into the cauldron unless completely deboned and sectioned.

5 comments:

Kiwi Nomad 2008 said...

Oh my gosh..... I thought I might like to continue this story with a suitable additional paragraph...until I realised that the images I was creating in my head might give me nightmares!!!

TS said...

The action...the pathos..! An impressive debut. To call the ending unexpected would be a vast understatement.

CMinor said...

Well, there's a "grabber" of an opening paragraph.

Perhaps you and MrsD could try writing it as a tandem story. Or just string all your beginnings together and see what results.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! Christopher Moore would be proud.

Joel

Bernard Brandt said...

You might consider the Bulwer-Lytton Contest.

Or, how about this.

"Gee", Spike thought as she wiped her buck knife on her jeans, "Daddy was right about something after all: The way to a man's heart IS through his stomach."