Because most philosophies that frown on reproduction don't survive.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

So Gather 'Round and Harken To My Tale

For my next project, I'm thinking maybe an epic in iambic pentameter about the search for a magic talisman that will bring peace. Here's a sample:

Mother: Hast seen the pacifier, churlish youths?
Thy sister in her crib doth wail and moan, 
And this, her nap time, offers her no sooth
And damn it! Why this ringing of the phone?

Eldest: My mother is enraged, upon my word,
But little do her words my soul aggrieve
For ever doth she rail, and rail unheard,
While we her bairns our plans unfettered weave.

Baby: Wan' POOKIE!!!


Jennifer Fitz said...

Brilliant, Mrs. D.

And if you only had time to write it, it would be the first epic poem I truly loved.

Matthew Lickona said...

Get crackin' I'm angling for the role of Eldest. But I'll probably wind up with Baby. Life is hard for a ham.

Foxfier said...

And all the moms in the area would go, and nod, and say "Indeed, how do those pacifiers evaporate?"

Look on the bright side-- I found out yesterday that I should NOT put the little Duchess in a Walmart shopping cart as pictured on the instructions, because she'll wiggle her chubby little foot between the wires and require bolt cutters to be free again. (still not sure how it happened; not so much as a bruise, now)

love the girls said...

An outside looking in: Crush the pacifier under heel,
and offer the babe your breast.
For nursing is more than a meal,
it sooths and comforts best.

MrsDarwin said...

Love the Girls, she would derive neither nourishment or satisfaction from nursing, seeing as she's been weaned for a year.

Jenny said...


Since you have several girls and only one boy, I'm wondering if you noticed a difference in nursing girls and a boy. My boy shows no sign of weaning and I'm starting to wonder if this is just a boy thing.

MrsDarwin said...

Jenny, all of mine have weaned between 14-16 mo., both because there's a natural lull there and because I can't stand it anymore. I cut Jack off cold turkey when I was about three months pregnant with Diana, but it turned out fine. We were tapering off then anyway.

Jenny said...

Grace weaned herself by 20mo. I gave Olivia a gentle push at 24mo because I was pregnant, sick, and we were well tapered to once a day not even every day. Sam is still twice a day like clockwork unless well distracted or utterly exhausted.

Honestly I am hesitant to wean him because I'd like to keep my pregnant/nursing streak going. It's completely vain, but, hey, it amuses me!

Anonymous said...

The lull at 14-16mo is not true for many babies. By that token, there's one for many babies at 8-10mo, but many wouldn't term that a natural time to wean, as the child still needs something equivalent to breastmilk then.

Interesting how uncommon extended breastfeeding is even among women who start young, though.

amy said...

Mrs. Darwin, Your poem made me laugh (and sigh in a slightly confused nostalgia for my pacifier that was permanently lost 24 years ago).

Jenny, some babes are more attached to the comfort of nursing than others. I (an unasked internet stranger) say that if you are physically comfortable nursing, if you are socially comfortable continuing to nurse, and if the babe still loves to nurse... why stop! Nursing a toddler is very different than nursing a newborn- it has its own joys and challenges. Being a toddler is such a busy and emotionally unstable time- nursing can provide a little quiet now and again to soothe the weary soul. And they don't nurse forever, even if you let them wean late.

For what it's worth, your saying that you'd like to keep your pregnant/nursing streak going amuses me too! Good luck whatever you decide.