As Isaac Pollak, an ardent Republican, kissed his wife goodbye before heading out on a business trip to Asia several years ago, he handed her his absentee ballot for the coming presidential election and asked her to mail it.
Bonnie Pollak, a Democrat, weighed her options. Should she be loyal to her spouse, respect his legal right and mail the ballot? Or remain faithful to her deeply held beliefs and suppress his vote?
"It was a real dilemma," says Ms. Pollak, 58 years old, a student in a doctoral program in social welfare who lives in Manhattan. "I decided to do the right thing."
Ms. Pollak threw the ballot away.
What an ugly little story. I don't think that a couple has to agree on politics to have a happy marriage -- after all, there is room for prudential judgment on how certain issues are to be addressed -- but this woman's blatant disregard for her husband's trust is breathtaking. The problem here is not that two people on opposite sides of the political spectrum are married to one another, but that the politics are more important than the marriage.
16 comments:
You may know that my husband is generally far more conservative than I am. I'm a registered Democrat, for what it's worth, since I almost never vote, and that's the difference between him and me, I suppose -- that I won't vote for a Democrat and yet somehow can't vote for a Republican. He doesn't have a party affiliation, though, and I'm always urging him to change his registration to Republican so he can vote in the primaries. I think that's mighty big of me. ; )
The worst part of it, I think, is not Bonnie's disloyalty, but her arrogance and condescension towards her husband's point of view.
I find it astonishing when people are proud to admit to committing fraud in the pages of a major national publication.
They have problems deeper than politics.
How vile! I was shocked to read they are still married. And the Demo letter to the kid's camp! Can you imagine growing up in that house?
The thing is, they live in Manhattan. When exactly was the last time that New York was competitive in a presidential election? 1988?
So not only did she betray her husband's trust and violate election law, but she did so to absolutely no purpose at all. To be so partisan as to betray your spouse's trust is bad enough, to be a moron into the bargain seems to push things rather far.
Uhhh, this is really bad politics, not just really bad marriage. Part of the whole democracy thing includes letting people you disagree with have their vote.
Not only that, but to continue calling it "doing the right thing" years later. Really? You think destroying a ballot is the right thing? WTF is wrong with you?
Also, color me amused by the implication that voter suppression is a deeply held Democratic belief. Ha!
"Or remain faithful to her deeply held beliefs and suppress his vote?"
I think part of the problem here is a tendency people have to treat each election season as a no-holds-barred final battle between good and evil, in which each person's acts have Great Significance.
Of course you're right, Darwin, that Mr. Pollak's vote would have been completely worthless even if it had been allowed to be counted, because the only election that matters in New York is the Democratic primary. Or at least that used to be the case before the past decade-plus of "Republican" New York City mayors.
Mr. Polack, who is a Republican, gave his ballot to a Democrat and expected her to mail it.
The possibilities for ethnic jokes are endless!!!
(My wife is Polish, BTW :))
Mr. Pollack is either Casper Milquetoast on Valium or the most tolerant, forgiving spouse alive (or, as my husband quipped when I gave him the particulars, the sex must have been incredible.)
I can think of very few things that would be guaranteed marriage deal-breakers for me, but what that lady pulled is on that list.
Pentimento,
That's right, I forgot about NY's Republican mayors. (That, and as an inveterate suburb dweller I have the tendency to forget that anyone cares who the mayor is.)
Cminor,
I suppose for Mr. Pollack's sake we must hope that D is right.
As an antidote, let me brag on my committedly atheistic husband. Having sole charge of Great Girl and Middle Girl at (fencing) Nationals in Anaheim this summer, and Great Girl having events on Sunday, the time of which are highly contingent, when a window of more than an hour appeared between bouts, he made use of his iPhone and Google Fu to determine the nearest Catholic Mass occurring in that time slot and got them there. Because that's what being married means.
Opinionated,
After l'affaire Pollack, that was refreshing.
Hoping your swashbucklers (figuratively) kicked butt!
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