Well, it's been about thirty hours, give or take, since I started my extended vacation in bed, but what do you know: bed rest works. Since yesterday morning I've dropped three pounds -- that's three excess pounds of fluid, in my calves and feet. Three pounds. I can see my feet again. Not just the swollen sausage-like appendages that have moved me around for a while, but feet. Real feet, with sinews and bone structure and actual ankles. I also have calves again, and they too have bone structure and muscle. You guys! I've still got muscle!
I've never been what you would call willowy, even on my best days. My figure is best described as "hourglass", and my legs are not the finest portion of my anatomy, at least not in these post-Rubenesque times. But as I considered my trim little ankles tonight (Julia: "Mom! Your ankles are skinny!"), I have to say: I'm pretty hot stuff. I am lookin' fine. In the absence of three extra pounds of fluid and with the fading of the spider veins, my legs are pretty presentable. Eat your heart out, J. Crew models.
This is the kind of weight loss process I can get behind. Lay in bed all day and watch the pounds melt off! Too bad it only works in particular situations, and too bad that I'm going to have to get off my left side eventually and do the sorts of things that make my legs swell, like stand up. But I'm reassured to know that I'm still there under all this baby.
"Women don't do that"
7 hours ago