It's getting redundant to apologize for blogging being so light, but we are sorry -- we miss the interaction here. Darwin is swamped with taking up my slack, and as for me, it seems that even a mild few hours of being up can now raise my blood pressure to above the 140/90 limit, whereas if I stay pretty much horizontal I'm in completely normal territory. I have to trust everyone who takes my blood pressure on this; I literally cannot feel a difference between good and dangerous blood pressures unless I have the indicator of swelling, and now it seems that my hands can swell and pinch my carpal tunnel nerve (making typing a nip tricky) without my blood pressure necessarily being elevated. The good news is that I seem only to have gestational hypertension without indications of preecclampsia. The very good news is that it seems to be controllable with bed rest and tons of water and protein. The mildly inconvenient news is that I probably need to be mostly down until baby is born, I'm due in 18 days, and I have no history of going into labor early.
If all my posts lately have seemed fixated on pregnancy and blood pressure and whatnot, it's because this is now what consumes my days. I'm in good company: the Hail Mary starts off with pregnancy (I'm reading "full of grace" as a pregnancy reference these days; Jesus is grace, and if Mary felt anything like me, she was certainly full of him) and ends with death. It's a whole lifetime packed into one prayer. I feel like I've spent whole lifetimes in bed with this pregnancy, and I guess if my blood pressure gets too high there could be fatal consequences for me or baby, so the prayer is very apropos right now.
I have to emphasize what a minor cross this is to carry. It falls much harder on Darwin and the kids, who need to keep the house running, than it does on me. I have to stay in bed -- woe! When I consider the fate of those in North Korea, or mothers giving birth in the Philippines after the hurricane, or of those who don't have shelter from the cold, I can hardly complain. But time does weigh heavily on my (numbish) hands. I don't feel much like reading these days, even with hours to spare. I spend much of the day refreshing Facebook and clicking around blogs because I want some kind of connection with the outside world, and I say my Liturgy of the Hours because it helps pace the time.
But now I want to combine these two into something more productive. Let me spend this time in bed praying for you! If you have any prayer intentions, leave them in the comments, or send me a note at darwincatholic(at)gmail.com, and I'll remember them in my bed rest prayers.
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