1. It's a staple of the Cathlick blogsphere to beef about female modesty, but one hears little about the need for guys to cover it up. Jennifer has provided an equalizing shot across the bow in the modesty wars: she's taken a stand against Trucknutz. Anyone who's ever been stuck at a light behind a truck dangling the family jewels (and yes, I speak from experience here) can understand her revulsion.
From my comment at her place:
What you do is, you pull up to the truck, roll down your window, and yell, "I can see why your wife cut them off, but why'd she nail them to your truck?" Of course, this being Texas and all, you may need to be prepared to return fire.Guys with the Trucknutz: you remember the Mini Cooper ads of a few years ago that urged, "Let’s not use the size of our vehicle to compensate for other shortcomings." ? First, grow a pair. Then, like an adult, put them away out of sight.
2. Here's what's been cracking me up: Sexy People. Hat tip to Lucas and Bill.
3. Who are Lucas and Bill? Two hot guys, that's who. Lucas is a long time friend, and Bill, oddly enough, is my brother. Don't be fooled, though -- he goes by Bill, but his name is really Will. I should know. Bill contributes to Lucas' blog, and Lucas writes a fan blog about Will.
4. Since we've already lowered the tone with Trucknutz, let's go to some video. Here is Alec Baldwin in David Mamet's profanity-laden Glengarry Glen Ross, delivering a speech about sales motivation which closes with a Trucknutz prototype cameo:
Most anyone I've ever met who works in sales can quote at least some of this rant.
5. And now for something unobjectionable:
This here is a big ONE YEAR OLD. As of last Friday. Look at 'im go: five teeth, lots of babbling, and walking all over the place.
6. No, let's go back to Trucknutz. Shouldn't driving a big truck effectively function as a symbol of hypermasculinity? Is this solely a guy thing? Do women have these on their cars as a way of showing that they're liberated and can run with the big dogs, ha ha? Do drivers of Priuses ever try to man up their rides with a pair of danglies? (Google Image says no.) The mind boggles.
7. And since we're on the subject, a story. Having three daughters in fairly close succession, I've changed a lot of diapers in the past seven years. A while ago, before the ascension of The Heir (see above) I was babysitting for a friend's small son and had to change the lad. I opened the diaper, reached for the wipes, and then froze in shock. What on earth was the horrific growth on the child? Gentle readers, it took me a full three seconds before I remembered that I was changing a boy.
9 comments:
*laughs*
I fear the sort of folks who use "trucknutz" are the sort who drive pickups to make up for something-- they probably also call those itty Toyota pickups "Trucks," too....
(Ranch rant, sorry-- "truck" is something that can haul horses without a trailer; imagine 8 tired cowboys responding when someone brings the white Toyota pickup instead of the big white truck that can get them home.)
I may just take your advice the next time I see a truck with Nutz (didn't know they had a name!) Personally, I always preferred the Yosemite Sam "Back Off" mudflaps. They'd look cool on my Fit!
Years ago, while in London we picked up a copy of the Times and ran across an ad for the minivan Mitsubishi was promoting that made us guffaw. Featuring a photo of a nerdy-looking little man leaning jauntily against a minivan containing his wife (smiling sheepishly) and three or four energetic young'uns, it proclaimed,
"Your Car Says A Lot About You, You Big Hunky Stud."
Nothing says macho like seating for eight!
My eyes have not been corrupted by those accessories you and Jen mention here in l'Ile d'Austin. Must be a Redstate Texas sort of thing.
You know, I did the opposite of #7 not all that long ago... I started to change the diaper and went "wait, where'd it go??" before I realized what I was doing. Funny the things we get used to...
And I'm happy to say that the Trucknutz phenomenon has not reached this part of CA. I am hoping it never does!! (And no, I didn't try to look at a picture, your description was horrific enough)
And happy first birthday to your handsome little guy!
The inventor of Trucknutz tells how he came up with the idea. He and some friends were driving off-road one day, rough terrain, 4WD required, and they came to a particularly tough obstacle. The trucks drove over it one at a time, and as the last truck lined up for it someone yelled, "come on, show us your balls!" The rest is history.
I confess that I own a set of Trucknutz (actually from a competitor, bullsballs.com), though they mostly sit on a shelf in my garage. My truck only wears balls on special occasions: funeral processions, first dates, that sort of thing.
Joel
Huh, I figured they came from the fine old Cowboy tradition of taking the...um... sack that's left when you turn a bull into a steer, and putting that on the ball hitch. Same idea as this.
Foxfier,
There seems to be an industry based in spare bull parts--I've seen ads for walking sticks and other items in that vein in some outfitters' catalogues.
We just got our cat fixed, but I guess those wouldn't be very impressive hanging off a trailer hitch.
So what exactly does it say when your *car* has a pair of TruckNutz that are painted bright, metallic, BLUE?
I'll hazard a guess, Anthony:
1. Color coordination is everything.
2. The Tale of Paul Bunyan had a major effect on you back when you were a schoolboy.
3. You had half a can of blue metallic left over after customizing your mailbox.
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