Because most philosophies that frown on reproduction don't survive.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Life with Neighbors: 2007 edition

MrsDarwin: (knocks on neighbor's door, smooths bright red Tobasco apron. Door opens.) Hi! Sorry to be old-fashioned, but can I borrow some sugar?

Neighbor 1: (runs a hand through her spiky hair) Hmm. I don't think I have any granulated sugar. I have some raw sugar -- will that do?

MrsDarwin: Ooh, I don't know. It's for frosting. I'd go to the store, but I have to make it quickly.

Neighbor 1: (piercings flash as she shakes her head) I'm really sorry.

MrsDarwin: No problem. I'll ask on the other side. Thanks!

(MrsDarwin crosses her driveway to knock on the other neighbor's door. There's a rattle at the doorknob and a cry of ¡Diego, no! Babysitter opens the door.)

MrsDarwin: Hi, I'm from next door. I'm sorry to bother you -- may I borrow a cup of sugar please?

Babysitter: Let me see if she has any. (Door shuts. A string of Spanish is directed at young Diego, trying to make his escape.)

Babysitter: (peering out) It doesn't look like there's any.

MrsDarwin: Thanks anyway. I'll check next door.

(MrsDarwin looks over at the next neighbor's house. The neighbor is sitting in the car talking on her cell phone while her children clamber at the doors and try to get in.)

MrsDarwin: (sighing) Never mind. (She returns home.)

(A moment later, Darwin drives off to the store.)

4 comments:

ckliff said...

to the store on a Sunday? uh oh,

Kiwi Nomad 2006 said...

I have sugar at my place..... you are welcome to have some.... you wouldn't get to leave for Cincinatti on time though if you fetched it from here ;-)

Jennifer F. said...

Wow, you're so bold. I'm so socially awkward, I'd probably go to the store if it were 100 miles away just to avoid knocking on the door of a neighbor whom I didn't know. :)

Fidei Defensor said...

Wait, you are telling me that the Darwin family, the very model of self-suffecieny (at least in terms of home beer production?) doesn't also have some autonomous sugar production operation going on in the back yard? Whare are you guys doing with your time! haha