Because most philosophies that frown on reproduction don't survive.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Women and Children First

The rest of the household is definitely back. While I was shaving this morning the girls burst in to reveal that a cockroach had been trapped under a glass cup for Daddy to deal with. Much shouting went on, though after the invader had been dispatched, the girls immediately armed themselves with a flyswatter, a broom and three golf balls and announced that they would kill any bugs they saw. (Whether this resolution would survive contact with the face -- or perhaps more relevantly the antennae -- of the enemy remains to be seen.)

8 comments:

Big Tex said...

Much different than my morning routine. First, there are no cockroaches in Western Washington. We have spiders. Many of them. They come in many species.

Second, my house is quiet whilst I get ready for work. All the children are sound asleep, as is my wife.

DJ Kucinich said...

So sad that you're teaching your children to kill other sentient beings just because they are different from you. Was the poor creature really harmful? Did it really have to be killed? You'd already captured it, why not just release it outside? Or even keep it in a cage (though that is itself unjust, as it has a right to a trial, but it is better than execution)?

Killing bugs (and eating meat) leads inevitably to abortion, euthanasia, shootings, unjust war, nuclear annihilation, and the end of the world. Repent and adopt and feed that poor murdered bug's family for life.

Drunkenferret said...

Uhg. *gags* At least it wasn't a scorpion...

Darwin said...

Oh, I'm much worse than that.

When the girls inquired why I didn't just let the bug go once he was outside, I explained: "If I let the bug go, it would lay eggs. and roaches don't just lay a few eggs like chickens, they lay thousands and thousands of eggs. And so in a little while we would have thousands and thousands of roaches. Would you like that?"

Oldest girl, "No! They would eat everything up, and then we would not have anything."

Daddy, "That's right. And that's why whenever Daddy finds a bug near the house, he kills it."

So we're basically teaching the kids genocide.

But only towards bugs.

DJ Kucinich said...

But bugs are people too! And if this continues, your girls might start thinking that Hispanics are no different like that idiot panelist on one of the Fox News finance shows who said that illegal immigrants are hostile invaders who should be shot if they try to (peacefully!) cross our border (even Mr. Capitalist Pig said what was said was totally disgusting). Why? We can assume because if they aren't shot they'll eat everything. That's usually the argument made against immigration.

Repent, stop eating meat, and stop killing innocent life!!! Else you're inviting a new holocaust under Presidentfurur Tomdolph Tanhitlercredo.

PB said...

Wow...

Hey Darwin, what about getting some spray, and a few of those roach motels too! That way the bug killing spree can last much longer than when you are actually "on duty"?

1990bluejay said...

First laugh I've had all day. I too have roach dispatching duties and hate, absolutely loathe the things. Only use is to vector illness. Growing up in New Orleans, killing roaches is a skill learned or else the d@#$%d things crawl on the ceiling and fall on you while sleeping, devour your books, etc. Oh, and don't forget that the big ones fly! ;) Genocide of roaches, sure! The fewer, the better, imho.

barbfromcincy said...

Did you consider using your skankalogs to smash them? Sounds like a good use for them.....
Mark says that you could justify keeping them around that way.