Because most philosophies that frown on reproduction don't survive.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Getting rid of the roach, MrsDarwin-style

I'm sitting peacefully at my breakfast, eating my egg and feeding the baby cheerios and pureed apricot, when I hear the dreaded squeal from my daughter: "A roach!" She had been sitting on the couch when the thing crawled out from underneath and toddled across the floor. (Keep in mind that when I say "roach" I mean "palmetto bug".) So I sigh and go into the living room where, sure enough, this two-inch-long roach is skirting the bookshelves. He's obviously looking for a way out. While he's on the far side of the room, I gingerly tiptoe over to the door and open it about as wide as it can go, then I hightail it back to safety behind the piano. The roach tries to make a foray up a baseboard, flexing its wings in an alarming fashion, but turns again and heads across the wall with the door.

I don't know what it's teaching my children about the value of prayer that the whole time I'm murmuring, "Oh dear sweet Jesus, please let him go out the door. Please, dear Lord, let him find the door and go out."

But -- God be praised! -- he follows the light, climbs over the jamb, and goes outside. I shut the door, carefully. If I slam it he might get startled and fly.

For the next few moments my jumpy nerves are preyed upon by the small fry who think it's funny to sight "bugs" everywhere and give shrill little shrieks. Not funny, ladies. Not funny.


Scoutsigns said...

As my grandmother used to say, "they are roaches if someone else has them, and palmetto bugs if you do." ;-)

Melanie Bettinelli said...

Palmetto bugs: One of the things I don't miss about Texas.

Anonymous said...

The Blackadder Says:

Come on, admit it: it's a *little* funny.

Rick Lugari said...

I found the corpse of one of those in my house. I didn't consider it like a roach because it was rather small. However, I left the patio door open and what appeared to be a hummingbird flew in. It wasn't until it started dive bombing at me that I realized it was actually wasp.

And what's with all the lizards in TX? Are they pretty safe, meaning you can let the kids catch them and play with them or do you need to have an exterminator out or keep a hawk as a pet? At night they scurry on the outside walls of the house and windows. Most are small little guys, my first guess is they're geckos, but they didn't try selling me insurance si I don't know for sure.

The Opinionated Homeschooler said...

You need a cat. A female; the boys don't hunt the roaches.

The 'lizards' are geckos. Mediterranean House Geckos, to be precise, which you can guess from the name are non-native so you may exterminate with a clear conscience (except that they're kind of squishy). Not to be confused with the banded geckos out in west Texas, which are locals but also squishy.

If your kids turn over rocks or paving stones at the right time of the year, they'll find little clutches of hatched gecko eggs, which is kind of cool. They can feel how reptile eggs are leathery compared to bird eggs. Of course be careful flipping over rocks... there are other critters that like to live there.

Growing up in central Texas there were lots of lizards: horny toads, green lizards, etc. but the fire ants (from South America via the Louisiana shipyards) have done them all in, except for the little green anoles which have held on.

mrsdarwin said...


Pbbt. :)


We do have a young female cat, who will hunt, but she's never around when I want her to be. I did see her the other night, playing with a live roach, but I begged Darwin to go over and finish the job in case she wandered off and left the thing. Occasionally I find a leg laying around, and I assume that the cat took care of the rest.


Unknown said...

You are SO much braver than I, Mrs. Darwin. I would have never been able to sleep through the night knowing that the catch-and-release roach was out there.. somewhere... lurking. Especially after already having cased the place - there's just no way he wouldn't be finding his way back in to walk across the ceiling above my bed while I'm sound asleep.... No no no no.

Here's a disturbing bit: Two days ago I found a dead roach IN MY CAR!!! *faint*