Quality shoes and lost children

Yesterday a friend and I hauled all our children up to an expensive children's store so that I could find ivory shoes for three flowergirls. (Outfitting multiple children for formal events = $.)

Interlude. Why the specialty shop and not Payless? you demand. What kind of a ritzy millionaire is MrsDarwin anyway? A few reasons:

1. Payless is undeniably cheap -- both in terms of money and quality. It is my sister's wedding; I want the girls to look nice.
2. We pass down shoes through three children here. You get what you pay for. The name brand shoes tend to last longer and hold up better.
3. Said children's store was closing up at this location and was offering everything on discount, including their shoes, which are certainly very classic and elegant.
   
4. Anyway, I looked at Payless. The style of shoe I needed was unavailable in all three sizes, and they didn't carry it any more on their website.

The children (all eight of 'em!) had been very well-behaved in the store, mostly due to the video playing in the back corner of the store. As we left the store all that energy burst loose. All the way to the parking lot there was racing, climbing on the play equipment scattered throughout the mall, poking at the vending machines, and tug of wars as all the children tried to prevent each other from crossing the road unsafely. My friend and I thought our struggles were over when we reached our vans, and then one of the girls said, "Where's Julia?"

Every parent knows the conflicting emotions aroused by a child who has wandered off. Irritation: can't she just stay with me? Unease: wasn't she just with me? As I strode through the mall (after two failed scouting expeditions by the older boys) I ran split-second scenarios through my strategy mill. Should I linger near where we had shopped in case she came looking for us? Should I go to the office on the far side of the mall, in the opposite direction? Should I canvass all those stupid playgrounds?

How soon is too soon to panic? How late is too late?

Fortunately I didn't have to reach that stage. As I decided to head back to familiar ground, I heard running feet and sobbing behind me, and there was Julia catching up to me and choking out that she'd turned the wrong way to the parking lot, and then everyone was gone, and she couldn't find me, and she'd been looking all over... She held my hand and leaned against my side as we returned, weary but triumphant, to the parking lot where my friend watched the baby strapped in the van and the older children milling quietly.

And that night as I lay in bed, I gave thanks that I could drift off to sleep peacefully instead of laying awake with my stomach clenching in sick worry.

Prayers for Vivian

Good readers, please keep blogger Kyle Cupp and his family in your prayers. They discovered over Holy Week that their unborn daughter, Vivian Marie, has anencephaly.

If she lives until term and through the delivery, she will be with us for only a few hours, perhaps a day or two. My wife is due in September, so we may have a long road ahead of us as we prepare simultaneously for our daughter’s birth, baptism, and burial. I admit a part of me wants this to be over sooner rather than later, but I also desire, hope, to hold my daughter, to listen to her newborn cries, to hold my wife as she nurses our hungry child, and to share as family those few precious moments of her life before we must say goodbye.

Please go over to Kyle's and offer your prayers and support.

Curiouser and curiouser

But how is it that every time I look at my children recently, they seem... bigger?

(Long time readers will note the continued absence of the bed. It currently reposes in the graveyard of broken furniture known around here as "the garage".)

Fantasy Fundamentalism

Over Holy Week some strange force caused the Harry Potter controversy to suddenly break out (like the story of the villagers of Eyam, subjected to a delayed-action outbreak of the Plague when a bolt of cloth carrying the fleas was brought out of storage) on our local Catholic homeschooler email list.

These discussions always seem to have two parts, first an explanation of how reading stories in which characters perform magic tempts children to occult practices, than an apologia for Tolkien and Lewis in which it is explained how these authors were Good Christians and their books are deeply Christian because: Aslan is God, good characters never do magic (unless they're not human characters, at which point it doesn't count), Galadrial is really Mary, the elves' lembas is the Eucharist, etc.

Two things annoy me about this whole set of arguments. The first is what strikes me as a Secret Decoder Ring Christianity approach to interpreting the meaning of fiction: It's always bad if main characters use magic, unless it's Gandalf, or Aragorn or Galadriel, because the main character won't identify with them and think they can do magic. And Dr. Cornelius in Prince Caspian is a half dwarf, so that doesn't count, and when Lucy does several spells out of a wizard's book in Voyage of the Dawn Treader, that doesn't violate the principle either, because... Well, for some reason.

And Lord of the Rings is really Catholic because Galadrial is Mary (Have these folks read the Silmarillion? Who would have pictured Our Lady as having such a dark past!) and because lembas is the Eucharist and so on.

Oh, and dragons are always the devil, so any book where you befriend dragons is right out.

All of these rely on tiresomely direct equivalences which do not strike me as at all how one is meant to read fiction. Yes, Tolkien's work is deeply Christian, but not because he has direct correlaries for the Virgin Mary and the Eucharist in his story, but rather because Middle Earth works in the way the way that Catholics see the real world as working in certain key ways. Much of the Silmarillion is an extended meditation on the Fall. Now there are other key differences. There is no revelation in Middle Earth, and no organized religion to speak of. And Middle Earth includes elements which do not, to our knowledge, exist in the real world, such as the elves. However at a moral and theological level, Tolkien's world is recognizably Christian.

My second major beef with this whole line of argument is that it is, so far as I can tell, usually made by people who don't like reading genre science fiction and fantasy anyway. They accept Lewis and Tolkien and classic fairy tales because they've heard through Christian media that these are okay -- and they are blissfully unaware of what most mainstream Tolkien fans are like. (If you think Harry Potter fans are unusually prone to the occult and neo-paganism, spend some time hanging out on a Lord of the Rings fan board for a while. There's little difference.) But aside from the two blessed masters, a fair amount of the Harry Potter criticism strikes me as coming down to, "We don't like stories about imaginary worlds that work differently than ours."

Now, one is certainly entitled to not like fantasy, but I must admit that even though I've pretty much fallen away from the genre (at this point I only track the new books coming out from a few favorite authors) I continue to resent people who clearly don't like the genre as a genre -- indeed, don't like the very idea of the genre -- laying down precise schemas of rules according to which fantasy must be written lest it be of the devil.

The Harry Potter books are far from being the best fantasy or children's fantasy books out there. You or your children would not suffer greatly if you never read them. (Though they are rollicking good reads, and contain some genuinely powerful themes and images.) But I wish we could get away from this curiously dogmatic approach to how-fantasy-must-be-written which seems to have sprung up in some Catholic circles. It's an oddly fundamentalist viewpoint to take root among Catholics, and it really is quite unnecessary.

He is Risen

Happy Easter to all our readers!

Who Killed Christ

When Pilate saw that he was not succeeding at all, but that a riot was breaking out instead, he took water and washed his hands in the sight of the crowd, saying, "I am innocent of this man's blood. Look to it yourselves."

And the whole people said in reply, "His blood be upon us and upon our children."

Then he released Barabbas to them, but after he had Jesus scourged, he handed him over to be crucified.
Matthew 27:24-27

These short lines have, through the fallen nature of humanity, caused their fair share of trouble over the centuries. The gospel message, through primarily one of hope and redemption, contains one dark undertone: Christ died for our sins. The one truly perfect being suffered horrifically because of our too clear imperfection.

It is in our nature to shy away from that which is unpleasant, and so it is perhaps no surprise that throughout history some Christians have attempted to assuage their own consciences by pointing the finger of blame at an obvious target: the Jews.

The fact, clearly stated in the gospel accounts, that it was the Jews who turned Christ over to be killed, and that Jews in Europe lived as a people set apart from the rest of the population, made them a good target against which to shift any blame one might feel for Christ's suffering. Or perhaps the gospel account simply provided a good excuse for the all too universal desire to cultures to treat minorities badly.

Either way, there is unquestionably a history in Christianity of the thousand years or more of Christians at times treating Jews badly and using the above statement of accountability as an excuse.

In recent times, rightly seeking to avoid any anti-Semitism, some have found a new scapegoat for the crucifixion: the Roman authorities. According to this narrative, which seems popular both with those who like to think of themselves as wise enough to know what is really going on between the lines of scripture and those who consider themselves particularly adept at critiquing civil authority from a religious perspective, the real motive force behind Christ's execution was the civil authorities. Christ preached a message of radical liberation, and this threatened the political and economic status quo, so the Roman authorities killed him. However, by the time the Gospel writers sat down to write their accounts, they found it expedient to gloss over the fault of the Roman authorities and lay blame on the Jews -- thus making nice with the Romans and scapegoating a people already on the outs with the empire.

Since I had run across this latter view several times this year, but on articles in the press and in online conversations, I had it in mind as I was re-reading the Passion narratives during Holy Week this year. That one can find no basis for it in the Gospels themselves is, of course, accounted for by the theory itself, yet it struck me with renewed force that this approach to the question, "Who killed Christ?" is really no different in its failures that the anti-Semitic one.

In both cases, the answer is effectively stated as: the other. The Jews. The oppressive authorities. Anyone but me.

The real answer to the question, "Who killed Christ?" is: We did.

As the Gospel accounts tell us, a mob of Jews gathered in Jerusalem for the Passover were stirred up by the Temple elders to call for Jesus' death, until the Roman authorities gave in to avoid a riot. Yet the meaning of this is not to be found in identifying some particular ethnic group or power structure to blame. Rather, we must think about who the Jews were, God's chosen people. The people who called out, "Crucify him! Crucify him!" were the only people in the world to whom God's law and prophesies had been revealed.

As Christians we believe that we now possess the fullness of God's revelation. We are God's people. Pius XI wrote, "Spiritually we are all Semites." And it should serve as a reminder to us of how right belief is no guarantee against pride or evil action. The leaders who called for the crucifixion were, like us, people who were the keepers of God's revelation on earth.

Chant: The Passion According to St. John

Today we'll be participating in an ancient Good Friday custom:

Paraclete invites you to take part in a Good Friday tradition that dates back to the eighth century, with the chanting of the Passion Narrative according to Saint John. Take half an hour apart from the events of the day, and listen to these sacred words, chanted by monastic members of the Gloriae Dei Cantores Schola, in Latin, in Gregorian chant.

Hear the voices of the Narrator, Christ, and the Synagogue, in this noble narration which brings to life with a dramatic immediacy the events of the Passion, as the Gospel account unfolds. Meditate on the English translation as you listen, and allow the ancient language of the text, and the special Gregorian chant tone reserved especially for this holy season, to add a new depth and solemnity to your understanding of this familiar story.

You can read along in English on the webpage.

Book Check: Triduum edition

I know that most of you have some spiritual reading you've been chewing on during Lent and into the Triduum.

I'm going to be reading Fulton Sheen's Characters of the Passion: Lessons on Faith and Trust this weekend. (It's been sitting buried in the pile on my bedside table since last Lent.) His reflections on Peter, Pontius Pilate, and Judas are particularly poignant.

For reading aloud to the children, we have some fine works by Inos Biffi and his talented illustrator, Franco Vignazia.



Story of the Eucharist is long for reading aloud in its entirety over a weekend, and needs a bit of on-the-fly editing for length (at least for the attention spans of the under-7 crowd), but it's a wonderfully illustrated history of the Eucharist in Catholic life. (The artist is honest -- he doesn't sugarcoat the bland ugliness of modern church architecture. Fortunately you only get a bit of that in the beginning and the end.)

An Introduction to the Liturgical Year has a good section on Lent, and The Way of the Cross: Holy Week, the Stations of the Cross, and the Resurrection is perfect for the Triduum, as well as being a beautiful and practical book for children to take to Stations of the Cross, Good Friday Services, and long Easter vigil Masses.

Novena for Order, Day 9

Action

Coming to the end of my novena, I'm struck by two ideas.

1. I really need to write down some kind of schedule. Not just think it in my head, not just make up a plan for the day each morning. I need to put some thought into what happens tomorrow, next week, next month.

2. Action. This is the word that's been impressed upon me during these nine days. I have to act. It would almost be better for me to be engaged in non-essential activity that has a purpose and an end, than to spend my time sitting around thinking about doing something important. I know that this is not everyone's particular problem. Some people might need to slow down, or to be more deliberate, or whatnot. I think that the more time I spend in some action with a definite end, the better for me. Otherwise I just while away my day drifting from idleness to idleness, to the detriment of my household and family and schooling.

Even the action of writing out my reflections on my lifestyle has really helped me to clarify what I need to be doing to bring more order to my life.

If you've been praying the novena with me, and have come to any conclusions about bringing order to your own life (whether or not the conclusions are relevant to anyone else's life), please share your thoughts. Not everyone's routine has to be the same; as I think about it, the problem with a lot of lifestyle systems is that they're just too cookie-cutter.

For Ordering a Life Wisely
St. Thomas Aquinas

O merciful God, grant that I may
desire ardently,
search prudently,
recognize truly,
and bring to perfect completion
whatever is pleasing to You
for the praise and glory of Your name.

Put my life in good order, O my God

Grant that I may know
what You require me to do.

Bestow upon me
the power to accomplish your will,
as is necessary and fitting
for the salvation of my soul.

Grant to me, O Lord my God,
that I may not falter in times
of prosperity or adversity,
so that I may not be exalted in the former,
nor dejected in the latter.

May I not rejoice in anything
unless it leads me to You;
may I not be saddened by anything
unless it turns me from You.

May I desire to please no one,
nor fear to displease anyone,
but You.

May all transitory things, O Lord,
be worthless to me
and may all things eternal
be ever cherished by me.

May any joy without You
be burdensome for me
and may I not desire anything else
besides You.

May all work, O Lord
delight me when done for Your sake.
and may all repose not centered in You
be ever wearisome for me.

Grant unto me, my God,
that I may direct my heart to You
and that in my failures
I may ever feel remorse for my sins
and never lose the resolve to change.

O Lord my God, make me
submissive without protest,
poor without discouragement,
chaste without regret,
patient without complaint,
humble without posturing,
cheerful without frivolity,
mature without gloom,
and quick-witted without flippancy.

O Lord my God, let me
fear You without losing hope,
be truthful without guile,
do good works without presumption,
rebuke my neighbor without haughtiness,
and -- without hypocrisy --
strengthen him by word and example.

Give to me, O Lord God,
a watchful heart,
which no capricious thought
can lure away from You.

Give to me,
a noble heart,
which no unworthy desire can debase.

Give to me
a resolute heart,
which no evil intention can divert.

Give to me
a stalwart heart,
which no tribulation can overcome.

Give to me
a temperate heart,
which no violent passion can enslave.

Give to me, O Lord my God,
understanding of You,
diligence in seeking You,
wisdom in finding You,
discourse ever pleasing to You,
perseverance in waiting for You,
and confidence in finally embracing You.

Grant
that with Your hardships
I may be burdened in reparation here,
that Your benefits
I may use in gratitude upon the way,
that in Your joys
I may delight by glorifying You
in the Kingdom of Heaven.

You Who live and reign,
God, world without end.

Amen.

translation by Robert Anderson and Johann Moser

Novena for Order, Day 8

I didn't forget about saying the novena yesterday -- I said it first thing. I didn't post it because I was sitting at the computer yesterday morning, clicking around, and didn't feel like interrupting my clickage to go copy the novena, paste it into a post, and write something pithy. So I didn't, and then I forgot about it. As I was in bed last night, all comfortable and falling asleep, suddenly I remembered: Aw, shoot, I didn't post the novena.

Which comes down to the question I've been asking myself lately: is this a productive use of my time? Posting the novena would have been a productive use of my time. Clicking around was not, as evidenced by the fact that I can't even tell you what or where I was reading around yesterday. Here are some of the numerous occasions lately when I've wondered whether I was really using my time most productively:

• standing at the kitchen island reading the newspaper while chaos swirls around my feet and the baby cries somewhere
• while sitting at the computer
  
• while sneaking a few of the three-year-old's potty training candy bribes rewards.
• while sitting at the computer
• while staring out the window into space while not washing the dishes
• when trying to figure out a crochet stitch, sitting next to mountains of unfolded laundry
  
• while sitting at the computer

Here are some of the occasions where I figured that I actually was using my time productively:

• laying on the bed watching the baby sleep or coo or be solemn. He's only this age once, and he's so adorable.
• playing the piano in the evening. I'm trying to learn the aria from the Goldberg Variations, and Darwin finds it relaxing to listen, even if I'm not Murray Perahia.
• saying the Liturgy of the Hours, even if the kids are fighting downstairs.
• showing my daughters how to crochet during the school day. This is life knowledge, people.
• while working out.
• anytime I make a cup of tea.

For Ordering a Life Wisely
St. Thomas Aquinas

O merciful God, grant that I may
desire ardently,
search prudently,
recognize truly,
and bring to perfect completion
whatever is pleasing to You
for the praise and glory of Your name.

Put my life in good order, O my God

Grant that I may know
what You require me to do.

Bestow upon me
the power to accomplish your will,
as is necessary and fitting
for the salvation of my soul.

Grant to me, O Lord my God,
that I may not falter in times
of prosperity or adversity,
so that I may not be exalted in the former,
nor dejected in the latter.

May I not rejoice in anything
unless it leads me to You;
may I not be saddened by anything
unless it turns me from You.

May I desire to please no one,
nor fear to displease anyone,
but You.

May all transitory things, O Lord,
be worthless to me
and may all things eternal
be ever cherished by me.

May any joy without You
be burdensome for me
and may I not desire anything else
besides You.

May all work, O Lord
delight me when done for Your sake.
and may all repose not centered in You
be ever wearisome for me.

Grant unto me, my God,
that I may direct my heart to You
and that in my failures
I may ever feel remorse for my sins
and never lose the resolve to change.

O Lord my God, make me
submissive without protest,
poor without discouragement,
chaste without regret,
patient without complaint,
humble without posturing,
cheerful without frivolity,
mature without gloom,
and quick-witted without flippancy.

O Lord my God, let me
fear You without losing hope,
be truthful without guile,
do good works without presumption,
rebuke my neighbor without haughtiness,
and -- without hypocrisy --
strengthen him by word and example.

Give to me, O Lord God,
a watchful heart,
which no capricious thought
can lure away from You.

Give to me,
a noble heart,
which no unworthy desire can debase.

Give to me
a resolute heart,
which no evil intention can divert.

Give to me
a stalwart heart,
which no tribulation can overcome.

Give to me
a temperate heart,
which no violent passion can enslave.

Give to me, O Lord my God,
understanding of You,
diligence in seeking You,
wisdom in finding You,
discourse ever pleasing to You,
perseverance in waiting for You,
and confidence in finally embracing You.

Grant
that with Your hardships
I may be burdened in reparation here,
that Your benefits
I may use in gratitude upon the way,
that in Your joys
I may delight by glorifying You
in the Kingdom of Heaven.

You Who live and reign,
God, world without end.

Amen.

translation by Robert Anderson and Johann Moser

Gotta spend money to save money

In my energy bill, I just came across an Earth Day pamphlet with a section on Fun Ways to Celebrate Earth Day! Included was this paragraph:

Plant an organic family garden. Working with your kids or spouse to design, plant, and grow your own vegetables is not only a great bonding experience but you're also rewarded with fresh, healthy produce throughout the summer and fall. And it's a great way to save money.

A great way to save money? Have these people ever planted a garden before? Maybe if you're on your second or third year of planting out an acre-sized plot, you might save some money by growing enough vegetables. Otherwise, the expenses of seeds, equipment, soil, fertilizer, trellises, root food, seed trays, and gardening books do add up, rather. Please tell me that the people who are so het up about Earth Day have actually try their own suggestions.

For another take on organic gardening, you might read The $64 Tomato: How One Man Nearly Lost His Sanity, Spent a Fortune, and Endured an Existential Crisis in the Quest for the Perfect Garden. Here's a review from Amazon.

Sadly, I was never able to get far enough into this book to be able to give it a reasonable review. About halfway through, the author goes into chilling detail about his efforts to get rid of several of those pesky creatures that we call wildlife. When his efforts to keep said wildlife from his crops fail, he decides that they need to be killed. After his description of how he trapped an oppossum, left it in the sun to die and, failing that, tried to drown it (all witnessed by his children), I was finished with this book. The fact that this is offered up as humor makes me sick.

Sold!

Philosophy and Health

Philosophy is often seen as one of those highly impractical, strictly academic fields, and yet, it has a way of being at the root of everything.

I was struck, recently, by a contrast in two statements about medicine. In an article about the importance of finding medical ways to enhance female sex drive, I ran across a claim along the lines of, "Many experts believe that more than 50% of women over 30 suffer abnormally low interest in sex and would benefit from sexual drive enhancing medication if it became available." The immediate connection my mind made was: No more than 5% of the population is attracted primarily to his or her own sex, and yet this is not considered a medical abnormality.

These two together show that the medical community (and our society in general) clearly has some sort of philosophy of the human person and philosophy of sexuality, which is doubtless assumed and unstated. Women, it is believed, ought to have a sexual drive equal to that of men, regardless of whether that is what we find in nature or not. (Even though there are some obvious evolutionary reasons why males would be physically more interested in frequency of copulation than females.) And yet if one primarily experiences sexual attraction to one's own sex, even though that both "doesn't fit the plumbing" and is evolutionarily useless, that is perfectly fine and healthy, even if this is a condition found in only a small percentage of the population.

Medicine is, in its modern form, generally an empirical field. Yet the question of "What is normal?" and "What is abnormal?" is a question that we always answer philosophically rather than empirically.

Necessarily so. Often our sense of what "ought" to happen is directly contrary to the observed usual occurrence. "Health" is not simply what we observe to be the usual, otherwise we would consider the "healthy" result of a diagnosis of lymphoma to be death.

We chase the telos just as much as in Aristotle's time, and yet we do not acknowledge that what we are doing is anything other than an "empirical science".

Novena for Order, Day 6

No, I didn't forget about the novena today. Rather, I was limiting my computer time. This wasn't a principled decision -- I was cleaning like a madwoman before Dorian came to visit. But it did make me reflect on a) how much I can get done if I start early; b) how much time I must waste in the morning on the computer; and c) the amazing sense of relaxation that comes from having the house mostly clean and then realizing that you were two hours ahead of schedule. Doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's a pretty darn good feeling.


For Ordering a Life Wisely
St. Thomas Aquinas

O merciful God, grant that I may
desire ardently,
search prudently,
recognize truly,
and bring to perfect completion
whatever is pleasing to You
for the praise and glory of Your name.

Put my life in good order, O my God

Grant that I may know
what You require me to do.

Bestow upon me
the power to accomplish your will,
as is necessary and fitting
for the salvation of my soul.

Grant to me, O Lord my God,
that I may not falter in times
of prosperity or adversity,
so that I may not be exalted in the former,
nor dejected in the latter.

May I not rejoice in anything
unless it leads me to You;
may I not be saddened by anything
unless it turns me from You.

May I desire to please no one,
nor fear to displease anyone,
but You.

May all transitory things, O Lord,
be worthless to me
and may all things eternal
be ever cherished by me.

May any joy without You
be burdensome for me
and may I not desire anything else
besides You.

May all work, O Lord
delight me when done for Your sake.
and may all repose not centered in You
be ever wearisome for me.

Grant unto me, my God,
that I may direct my heart to You
and that in my failures
I may ever feel remorse for my sins
and never lose the resolve to change.

O Lord my God, make me
submissive without protest,
poor without discouragement,
chaste without regret,
patient without complaint,
humble without posturing,
cheerful without frivolity,
mature without gloom,
and quick-witted without flippancy.

O Lord my God, let me
fear You without losing hope,
be truthful without guile,
do good works without presumption,
rebuke my neighbor without haughtiness,
and -- without hypocrisy --
strengthen him by word and example.

Give to me, O Lord God,
a watchful heart,
which no capricious thought
can lure away from You.

Give to me,
a noble heart,
which no unworthy desire can debase.

Give to me
a resolute heart,
which no evil intention can divert.

Give to me
a stalwart heart,
which no tribulation can overcome.

Give to me
a temperate heart,
which no violent passion can enslave.

Give to me, O Lord my God,
understanding of You,
diligence in seeking You,
wisdom in finding You,
discourse ever pleasing to You,
perseverance in waiting for You,
and confidence in finally embracing You.

Grant
that with Your hardships
I may be burdened in reparation here,
that Your benefits
I may use in gratitude upon the way,
that in Your joys
I may delight by glorifying You
in the Kingdom of Heaven.

You Who live and reign,
God, world without end.

Amen.

translation by Robert Anderson and Johann Moser

Novena for Order, Day 5

On offering it up

Grant
that with Your hardships
I may be burdened in reparation here,
that Your benefits
I may use in gratitude upon the way,
that in Your joys
I may delight by glorifying You
in the Kingdom of Heaven.

I found myself thinking of this line of the prayer last night after the parish fish fry had run out of fish when I was the next one in line, Red Lobster had an hour-long line snaking out the door, and Little Caesar's had run out of their "Hot 'n Ready -- no waits! no lines!" cheese pizzas. (They had plenty of pepperoni and sausage pizzas on hand, though.) Waiting five minutes for a cheese pizza after missing out on the fish that I would have seemed dramatic when I had a sinus headache and was already starving, but in reality it's so petty that offering it up probably only made reparation for my irritable attitude caused by the situation. A religious Catch-22.

For Ordering a Life Wisely
St. Thomas Aquinas

O merciful God, grant that I may
desire ardently,
search prudently,
recognize truly,
and bring to perfect completion
whatever is pleasing to You
for the praise and glory of Your name.

Put my life in good order, O my God

Grant that I may know
what You require me to do.

Bestow upon me
the power to accomplish your will,
as is necessary and fitting
for the salvation of my soul.

Grant to me, O Lord my God,
that I may not falter in times
of prosperity or adversity,
so that I may not be exalted in the former,
nor dejected in the latter.

May I not rejoice in anything
unless it leads me to You;
may I not be saddened by anything
unless it turns me from You.

May I desire to please no one,
nor fear to displease anyone,
but You.

May all transitory things, O Lord,
be worthless to me
and may all things eternal
be ever cherished by me.

May any joy without You
be burdensome for me
and may I not desire anything else
besides You.

May all work, O Lord
delight me when done for Your sake.
and may all repose not centered in You
be ever wearisome for me.

Grant unto me, my God,
that I may direct my heart to You
and that in my failures
I may ever feel remorse for my sins
and never lose the resolve to change.

O Lord my God, make me
submissive without protest,
poor without discouragement,
chaste without regret,
patient without complaint,
humble without posturing,
cheerful without frivolity,
mature without gloom,
and quick-witted without flippancy.

O Lord my God, let me
fear You without losing hope,
be truthful without guile,
do good works without presumption,
rebuke my neighbor without haughtiness,
and -- without hypocrisy --
strengthen him by word and example.

Give to me, O Lord God,
a watchful heart,
which no capricious thought
can lure away from You.

Give to me,
a noble heart,
which no unworthy desire can debase.

Give to me
a resolute heart,
which no evil intention can divert.

Give to me
a stalwart heart,
which no tribulation can overcome.

Give to me
a temperate heart,
which no violent passion can enslave.

Give to me, O Lord my God,
understanding of You,
diligence in seeking You,
wisdom in finding You,
discourse ever pleasing to You,
perseverance in waiting for You,
and confidence in finally embracing You.

Grant
that with Your hardships
I may be burdened in reparation here,
that Your benefits
I may use in gratitude upon the way,
that in Your joys
I may delight by glorifying You
in the Kingdom of Heaven.

You Who live and reign,
God, world without end.

Amen.

translation by Robert Anderson and Johann Moser

Healings

Some of you may remember my friend Christa, who was battling colon cancer while pregnant. Her healthy little baby boy was born in December, but she had to start radiation treatment shortly after giving birth. Yesterday she had some major explorative surgery and received some good news. Her husband wrote on her CaringBridge page:

Well yesterday was a long day for Christa and myself. We arrived at the hospital Thursday morning at 6:00. Christa was doing her best to cope with whatever the outcome of the surgery would be. Prior to being taken to the operation room, she predicted to one of the physicians they would not find any cancer. For days now Christa has mentioned to me that she did not feel like she had cancer anymore, so her prediction to the doctor was no surprise to me. My prayer has been that she would be healed, so I too hoped for the same. We have been praying for healing through the intercession of John Paul II and April 2nd will be his feast day when he is canonized. JPII died on April 2, 2005. In the Catholic faith, we generally celebrate a saint’s feast day on the day they died. Just in case anyone is wondering, Christa did not intentionally schedule the surgery for April 2nd, so this too was a reason why Christa is convinced she has been healed from cancer.

The medical staff took Christa to the operating room and I sat and waited. The surgery lasted for nearly 5 hours. Finally one of the surgeons came out of the operating room and provided an update to me in the waiting room. He advised the following:

• They removed the area where the tumor and lymph nodes were located
• They took tissue samples from areas around the tumor
• All tests were negative, meaning they did not find the cancer!
• Christa received an illeostomy (a temporary colostomy), PRAISE GOD!!!!

We are very happy to receive the good news. We will know the lab results for the lymph nodes/tumor next week, so we are still praying they will not find any cancer cells. It appears the radiation and chemo Christa received has worked so far, so we are still hoping everything will come out negative. As you can imagine, Christa is in pain which is to be expected. We are not sure how long she will be in the hospital.

This is wonderful news for Christa, her husband, and their three children. And I thought it was fitting to read this news report today of a possible miracle attributed to Pope John Paul II.

Novena for Order, Day 4

The Hours

I've always loved the idea of the Liturgy of the Hours, even though I've never said it regularly. During Lent I've been saying Lauds, or Morning Prayer, and I've started to see some differences in my day. It used to be that I thought a successful day was a day in which nobody did anything to make me angry. Now a successful day is a day in which I don't get angry at anything anyone does. My kids can tell you the difference.

For Ordering a Life Wisely
St. Thomas Aquinas

O merciful God, grant that I may
desire ardently,
search prudently,
recognize truly,
and bring to perfect completion
whatever is pleasing to You
for the praise and glory of Your name.

Put my life in good order, O my God

Grant that I may know
what You require me to do.

Bestow upon me
the power to accomplish your will,
as is necessary and fitting
for the salvation of my soul.

Grant to me, O Lord my God,
that I may not falter in times
of prosperity or adversity,
so that I may not be exalted in the former,
nor dejected in the latter.

May I not rejoice in anything
unless it leads me to You;
may I not be saddened by anything
unless it turns me from You.

May I desire to please no one,
nor fear to displease anyone,
but You.

May all transitory things, O Lord,
be worthless to me
and may all things eternal
be ever cherished by me.

May any joy without You
be burdensome for me
and may I not desire anything else
besides You.

May all work, O Lord
delight me when done for Your sake.
and may all repose not centered in You
be ever wearisome for me.

Grant unto me, my God,
that I may direct my heart to You
and that in my failures
I may ever feel remorse for my sins
and never lose the resolve to change.

O Lord my God, make me
submissive without protest,
poor without discouragement,
chaste without regret,
patient without complaint,
humble without posturing,
cheerful without frivolity,
mature without gloom,
and quick-witted without flippancy.

O Lord my God, let me
fear You without losing hope,
be truthful without guile,
do good works without presumption,
rebuke my neighbor without haughtiness,
and -- without hypocrisy --
strengthen him by word and example.

Give to me, O Lord God,
a watchful heart,
which no capricious thought
can lure away from You.

Give to me,
a noble heart,
which no unworthy desire can debase.

Give to me
a resolute heart,
which no evil intention can divert.

Give to me
a stalwart heart,
which no tribulation can overcome.

Give to me
a temperate heart,
which no violent passion can enslave.

Give to me, O Lord my God,
understanding of You,
diligence in seeking You,
wisdom in finding You,
discourse ever pleasing to You,
perseverance in waiting for You,
and confidence in finally embracing You.

Grant
that with Your hardships
I may be burdened in reparation here,
that Your benefits
I may use in gratitude upon the way,
that in Your joys
I may delight by glorifying You
in the Kingdom of Heaven.

You Who live and reign,
God, world without end.

Amen.

translation by Robert Anderson and Johann Moser

Novena for Order, Day 3

Resisting the urge to start over

I recently went through the springtime of my discontent with how homeschooling was proceeding, and was about to throw it all up and start a new system. I read up on it, made a few plans, and even went to far as to go down to IKEA to pick up a catalogue so I could plan out a system of shelving and room organization. Fortunately, the store was out of catalogues. "And we won't be getting any more in until the new ones are printed in June," the sales associate told me.

June. After the school year is over. I took it as a sign that we need to persevere and try to perfect what we're doing now, instead of taking the easy route of starting afresh. It's always tempting to think that if we could just start over with a new system, this time everything would fall into place! Let's call this the fallacy of Bullwinkle: "This time for shure!" But there's often more advantage, though it might be harder work, in reassessing and cleaning up a system that's started to conform to one's own family. In fact, seeing where my schedule has failed is pretty valuable information, because it shows me how we've altered our original schema to fit our family's natural rhythms.
For Ordering a Life Wisely
St. Thomas Aquinas

O merciful God, grant that I may
desire ardently,
search prudently,
recognize truly,
and bring to perfect completion
whatever is pleasing to You
for the praise and glory of Your name.

Put my life in good order, O my God

Grant that I may know
what You require me to do.

Bestow upon me
the power to accomplish your will,
as is necessary and fitting
for the salvation of my soul.

Grant to me, O Lord my God,
that I may not falter in times
of prosperity or adversity,
so that I may not be exalted in the former,
nor dejected in the latter.

May I not rejoice in anything
unless it leads me to You;
may I not be saddened by anything
unless it turns me from You.

May I desire to please no one,
nor fear to displease anyone,
but You.

May all transitory things, O Lord,
be worthless to me
and may all things eternal
be ever cherished by me.

May any joy without You
be burdensome for me
and may I not desire anything else
besides You.

May all work, O Lord
delight me when done for Your sake.
and may all repose not centered in You
be ever wearisome for me.

Grant unto me, my God,
that I may direct my heart to You
and that in my failures
I may ever feel remorse for my sins
and never lose the resolve to change.

O Lord my God, make me
submissive without protest,
poor without discouragement,
chaste without regret,
patient without complaint,
humble without posturing,
cheerful without frivolity,
mature without gloom,
and quick-witted without flippancy.

O Lord my God, let me
fear You without losing hope,
be truthful without guile,
do good works without presumption,
rebuke my neighbor without haughtiness,
and -- without hypocrisy --
strengthen him by word and example.

Give to me, O Lord God,
a watchful heart,
which no capricious thought
can lure away from You.

Give to me,
a noble heart,
which no unworthy desire can debase.

Give to me
a resolute heart,
which no evil intention can divert.

Give to me
a stalwart heart,
which no tribulation can overcome.

Give to me
a temperate heart,
which no violent passion can enslave.

Give to me, O Lord my God,
understanding of You,
diligence in seeking You,
wisdom in finding You,
discourse ever pleasing to You,
perseverance in waiting for You,
and confidence in finally embracing You.

Grant
that with Your hardships
I may be burdened in reparation here,
that Your benefits
I may use in gratitude upon the way,
that in Your joys
I may delight by glorifying You
in the Kingdom of Heaven.

You Who live and reign,
God, world without end.

Amen.

translation by Robert Anderson and Johann Moser

Adventures in Regression

Megan McArdle provides a perfect example of why a turning a fool loose with a regressiion or graphing tool can get you all sorts of strange places.

I've seen a lot shakier plots used to justify some sweeping conclusions, and if those were justified, well, then I'm forced to conclude that Mexican lemons have improved highway safety a great deal. The vitamin C, maybe? The fragrance? Bioflavanoids?

This is particularly tricky when you bring time into it, because things trend--as we get richer, we buy safer cars, get better emergency rooms, etc. We also import more lemons to make our chi-chi cocktails and lemon meringue pies. Overlay the two, and you've got a hell of a causal relationship.

But I expect that four years from now, we'll still be having the same conversations with proponents of "cancer clusters" and Democrats convinced that they can scientifically prove that Democrats are better for GDP by doing ham-fisted regressions of Democratic presidencies with a few tightly correlated economic variables. What's the mechanism? What makes electric power lines cause cancer, but not the earth's vastly more powerful magnetic field? What policies did Harry Truman and Bill Clinton have in common (but not with Richard Nixon) that caused this marvelous confluence? Well, maybe we don't know the mechanism exactly, but never you mind: just look at that bee-yoo-ti-ful correlation!

On less political issues, I find myself dealing with these kinds of "analysis" at work all the time. As in all things, common sense is in order. If there's no reasonable explanation for any sort of causal relationship between two factors, then consider very seriously the possibility that there is none.

I wish I had the years behind me to get away with the Professor's recurring line from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe: What do they teach them in schools these days?

Lenten Meditations on Purgatorio: Lust

Canto 24 is taken up with the climb of the three poets from the terrace of greed to the terrace of lust, and an extended conversation they have along the way in which Statius explains for Dante's benefit the relationship between the physical body and the soul (according to a mix of theology and Aristotelian biology) and how this accounts for the fact that the bodies of the souls in purgatory cannot die yet can suffer the visible deprivations of hunger. This is a sort of Aristotelian SciFi element to the Divine Comedy which, though doubtless fascinating to its medieval readers, often give the work a reputation for being hard to understand among 20th century readers.

At last, the poets come reach the next terrace, much of which is covered by a wall of fire. They begin to move carefully along the edge of the terrace, with fire to the left and a precipice to their right, and soon realize that there are spirits moving through the fire, and calling out to one another encouragement in the form of examples single and marital of chastity from Christian history and pagan mythology.

From inside the fire, souls call out to Dante asking him who he is that he walks unburned and still in his mortal body, but as he is about to explain he sees another group of souls coming through the fire walking in the opposite direction of those who have stopped to speak to him.

For down the middle of the burning road
Came people with their faces opposite
To these, and they made me stare in suspense.

There I saw all the shades on either side
Hurrying and kissing one another
Without halting, content with this brief greeting:

As ants in black battalions rub their muzzles,
One with another, so as to seek out,
Perhaps, their prospects and their way ahead.

As soon as these break off their friendly welcome,
Before they take the first step to set off,
Each one attempts to outshout all the rest,

The newcomers crying "Sodom and Gomorrah!"
The others, "Pasiphae climbs in the cow
To let the bull come gallop to her lust!"

Then just like cranes that fly away, some
To the Riphean mountains, some toward the sands,
These to escape the frost and those the sun:

One group of people leaves and one comes on,
And they return in tears to their first chants
And to the shout most suitable for them.
(Purg. XXVI, 28-48)

[Note: In Greek mythology, the Cretan queen Pasiphae was taken with a lust for a bull as a result of a spell put on her by the god Poseidon. She had a wooden cow (with necessary openings) made for her so that she could attract the bull's attention, and as a result conceived the Minotaur, half man and half bull.]



Once the other group of souls has moved off, those who had first asked Dante for his story repeat their request, and he explains about how Beatrice's prayers have resulted in the gift of a chance to travel through hell, purgatory and heaven in order that he may return to the road of virtue. Dante then asks the souls the nature of the other group which just passed going in the other direction and they explain the nature of their own sins and those of the other group of souls.

"The people who don’t come with us offended
By that same sin for which Caesar in triumph
Once heard a voice call out against him, ‘Queen!’

"And that is why they run off shouting ‘Sodom!’
Railing against themselves, as you have heard,
And so support the burning with their shame.

"In sinning we were heterosexual:
But since we did not yield to human law,
Following our appetites like beasts,

"To heap opprobrium upon ourselves,
Leaving those shades, we blare the name of her
Who bestialized herself in beast-like planks.
(Purg. XXVI, 76-87)

Dante's point here about the two forms of sexual sin (gay and straight) is interesting: He labels both sodomy and "straight" fornication and adultery as sins against nature, the former for obvious reasons and the latter because they violate the state of faithful natural marriage. Because Dante sees monogamous fidelity as the natural state of the human person, even "straight" sexual sins are deformations of nature's intent.

Sinners gay and straight now share a brief embrace and kiss as they pass each other in the flames, in sign that they now understand the right place of physical affection and do not allow it to be a lure which draws them from the path towards salvation.

The shades speaking to Dante then introduce themselves personally. They prove to be authors of courtly Italian love poetry, which was a great influence on Dante's early style, and the poets take a few moments to express admiration for each others' work before the penitents continue their journey through the flames and Dante (after promising to pray for them) continues along the terrace with his guides.

A little way further and Dante reaches his most difficult point yet on the journey which has taken him from the wasteland of sin, through hell and repentance to this point. They reach the pass up from the terrace of lust, guarded by the angel of chastity.

He stood upon the bank, outside the flames,
And sang aloud, "Blessed are the clean of heart!"
In a voice far more alive than ours.

Then, "You may go no further, holy souls,
Unless the fire sting you: enter it,
And don’t be deaf to what is sung beyond,"

He said to us when we drew near to him;
And when I heard him speak so, I became
Like someone buried in the pit, alive.

I now arched forward over my clasped hands.
Staring at the fire, I clearly pictured
Human bodies I had once seen burned.

My kindly escorts turned in my direction,
And Virgil said to me, "My son, there may
Be suffering here, but there can be no death.
(Purg. XXVII, 7-21)

Despite Virgil's reassurances, Dante is terrified of going through the fire. When Virgil does convince him to go through, it is only with Virgil reminding Dante that it is only by going through the fire that Dante can see Beatrice again.

It's interesting, I think, that this last penance is one suffered at least briefly by every single soul, and which Dante himself (who has not yet actually been subjected to any punishments or penances in his journey through the afterlife) too must suffer from the flames that purge away lust. Lust is, after all, one of the most basic of human sins, and is found admixed in even the most virtuous married relationships. While it was not through sexual sin that Adam and Eve fell, the first sign of their fall was when they realized that they were naked, and became ashamed. As John Paul II pointed out, writing 700 years after Dante, the first result of the fall was that Adam and Eve each realized that they were capable of taking sexual advantage of the other, and as such sought to protect themselves from each others' gaze.

At last, Dante follows Virgil into the fire.

At that he shook his head and said, "What’s this?
You’d have us stay on this side?" Then he smiled,
As one does at a child won by an apple.

Then he stepped in the flames ahead of me,
Requesting Statius, who a long way now
Had walked between us, to approach behind.

Once in the fire, I would have flung myself
Into molten glass to feel cooled off,
The burning heat inside was so intense.

My tender father, trying to comfort me,
Kept talking about Beatrice as we walked,
Saying, "I seem to see her eyes already!"

A singing voice, beyond, was guiding us;
And we, while listening all the time to it,
Came outside at the point which starts to climb.
(Purg. XXVII, 43-57)

Dante finds himself now on the ascending stair from this last terrace of penance. However, sunset and darkness falls on the poets, and they are forced to take their rest on the steps, spending one last night in Purgatory.

Taking one more moment on this last terrace of purgation, in which Dante share (however briefly) in the redemptive suffering, the contrast between the punishments of Purgatorio and Inferno strikes me yet again. Though Dante certainly gives us a powerful image of the heat (wishing he could throw himself into molten glass to cool himself) he spends far more time on his effort to gain the strength of will to enter the fire, and to keep moving through it. No one will push Dante into the fire. While in the Inferno demons, fellow sinners and other keepers constantly force the damned back into their punishments, and capture them if they try to escape, the "punishments" of the Purgatorio are all voluntarily assumed. Dante could, should he have chosen, waited indefinitely on the terrace, refusing to enter the fire.

Climbing a mountain really is the ideal metaphor for Purgatory and for the efforts at spiritual and moral self improvement in life which Purgatory, in Dante' and the reader's earthly lives, represents. It is a difficult task requiring effort and at times suffering, but undertaken because one knows and desires the goal.

No one is going to do anything to these penitents in Purgatory, but they choose to undergo these sufferings because they know that only through the purgation of disordered habits and loves can they reach the promised goal of heaven.

---

Thanks to:

The translation and notes of James Finn Cotter

The translation, original text, and notes provided by AllenMandelbaum

And most especially the translation and extensive commentary by Dorothy Sayers, which Penguin keeps appearing to drop, but never quite has.

Novena for Order, Day 2

Sleep

For most of my child-raising career, I've never gotten up at a set time, and rarely before the kids wake up. I like being lazy in the morning. It should have been obvious from the beginning that getting up late would have serious repercussions for the rest of my day, but it's only recently that I've begun to change this pattern. My Lenten sacrifice this year was to give up sleep -- to get up early, in other words, and use that morning time to say Lauds. I've had mixed success with this, mostly because I rely on Darwin's alarm to get me up, and he gets up a different times depending on his morning schedule, and hits the snooze. That's fine for him; he always gets out the door when he needs to. But it doesn't work so well for me, because I don't have the accountability of getting to the office to keep me on schedule.

I've been starting to wake up the girls at a set time each morning, in hopes that this will make bedtimes easier in the evenings. So now it's time for me to get up at a set time as well -- preferably a good hour and a half before the kids, so that I can have some quiet time to set my day in order.

For Ordering a Life Wisely
St. Thomas Aquinas

O merciful God, grant that I may
desire ardently,
search prudently,
recognize truly,
and bring to perfect completion
whatever is pleasing to You
for the praise and glory of Your name.

Put my life in good order, O my God

Grant that I may know
what You require me to do.

Bestow upon me
the power to accomplish your will,
as is necessary and fitting
for the salvation of my soul.

Grant to me, O Lord my God,
that I may not falter in times
of prosperity or adversity,
so that I may not be exalted in the former,
nor dejected in the latter.

May I not rejoice in anything
unless it leads me to You;
may I not be saddened by anything
unless it turns me from You.

May I desire to please no one,
nor fear to displease anyone,
but You.

May all transitory things, O Lord,
be worthless to me
and may all things eternal
be ever cherished by me.

May any joy without You
be burdensome for me
and may I not desire anything else
besides You.

May all work, O Lord
delight me when done for Your sake.
and may all repose not centered in You
be ever wearisome for me.

Grant unto me, my God,
that I may direct my heart to You
and that in my failures
I may ever feel remorse for my sins
and never lose the resolve to change.

O Lord my God, make me
submissive without protest,
poor without discouragement,
chaste without regret,
patient without complaint,
humble without posturing,
cheerful without frivolity,
mature without gloom,
and quick-witted without flippancy.

O Lord my God, let me
fear You without losing hope,
be truthful without guile,
do good works without presumption,
rebuke my neighbor without haughtiness,
and -- without hypocrisy --
strengthen him by word and example.

Give to me, O Lord God,
a watchful heart,
which no capricious thought
can lure away from You.

Give to me,
a noble heart,
which no unworthy desire can debase.

Give to me
a resolute heart,
which no evil intention can divert.

Give to me
a stalwart heart,
which no tribulation can overcome.

Give to me
a temperate heart,
which no violent passion can enslave.

Give to me, O Lord my God,
understanding of You,
diligence in seeking You,
wisdom in finding You,
discourse ever pleasing to You,
perseverance in waiting for You,
and confidence in finally embracing You.

Grant
that with Your hardships
I may be burdened in reparation here,
that Your benefits
I may use in gratitude upon the way,
that in Your joys
I may delight by glorifying You
in the Kingdom of Heaven.

You Who live and reign,
God, world without end.

Amen.

translation by Robert Anderson and Johann Moser