...When you get home after the last day of a long week, find that the rest of the family won't be home for about an hour, have a good book to read, and so you go to the fridge. You put ice in a glass. You add lime juice. You add a generous portion of gin.
And then you find NO TONIC WATER. None.
You realize that there are other concentric rings of suffering above you, but in yours you have a gin an tonic, with no tonic.
Fortunately, sometimes you then discover that someone has simply put the tonic water on a lower shelf than you expected. This brief taste of an everlastingly incomplete G&T is simply a foretaste of hell: a warning calling you to repentance.
And so you do what any good Catholic does when warned against his many sinful habits: you take your completed gin and tonic over to the couch and read, because while you are there steeped in good prose and mid-shelf gin, you know that you certainly won't have time to commit any sins.
Fortnightly Book, March 29
2 hours ago