Because most philosophies that frown on reproduction don't survive.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Romance, with a strong underpinning of reality

Darwin's post on arranged marriages sent us back down memory lane. We were about as close a case of love at first sight as makes no never mind, and I don't doubt that had we, by some odd twist of fate, been an arranged marriage, we would have flourished from the first moment. As it was, about a month after we'd been together, we were sitting one evening in the kitchen of Darwin's dorm. It wasn't a particularly comfortable or romantic (or hygienic) place, but women weren't allowed in men's rooms except for four hours on Saturday and Sunday, and all the common rooms were taken. We were snuggled up in the least objectionable corner of a couch, books and assignments all around, talking about the most absorbing subject in the world: Us. The future lay before us, open and rosy and full of potential, and we were talking about what we wanted to do with our lives. And I, in a moment of apprehensive daring, said, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"And I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he said. We basked for a moment in a glow of mutual happiness. Then he said, "This doesn't mean we're engaged, does it?"

"No, of course not," I said, shocked. Talking about getting married was one thing. Actually getting engaged, at 18, with four years of college still ahead of us? That would just be impractical.

And we sat on in harmony. Romantic tension is plenty nice in its way (though really, it's more exciting in books or in retrospect than in the awkward longing of the moment), but even better is the joy of perfect mutual understanding and unity.


Jenny said...

We had a similar start to our relationship. Our relationship started my freshman year in college. I remember looking at my husband about two months after we started dating and thinking, "I'm going to marry this guy." It was a heady realization.

We didn't actually get engaged until the June before our last semester in college over three years later. We wanted to get married, but we weren't crazy. :D

Sarah said...

That is just beautiful. My husband and I were best friends from high school and started dating right before college, and we "knew" just a few months in. Like you and Darwin, we had to wait; my husband is 2 years behind me in school, so we waited until he was out of undergrad. Boy, when you already know it's tough; on the other hand, you have plenty of time to learn about each other.