The meme to end all memes

I'm just not into memes. In fact, I don't necessarily like them. (In that Far Side where the scientists are testing what will roll off a duck's back, Larson could have added, "Meme off a Darwin's back.") But a number of people that I do like have tagged me with them lately, so I'm going to hit them all in one post and be done with it.

The Confiteor Meme (inflicted by SpeculativeCatholic and The City of God)

I confess that I'm a snob about many things including but not limited to education, literature, movies, TV, cheese, beer, scotch, vodka, wine, shoes, shaving and the MacOS.

I confess that I don't have enough money to indulge all my snobbery, and so am often condemning things I am not above doing myself.

I confess that I am a classic over-committer, agreeing to do nearly anything that seems important and then struggling to get everything done.

I confess that I sometimes find the monkeys very trying, though they are also very dear girls.

I confess that I am not a morning person -- at all.

I confess that on the really rough days I drink coffee all day to keep up to speed and then need to have at least one alcoholic drink at night to slow down. (Otherwise I don't have the sense to feel tired and blog all night.)

I confess that within a month of FideiDefensor putting the topic into my head I requested the forms to get a Curio and Relics Federal Firearms License from the ATF.

I confess that I should probably be working on something or other right now, but I'm not.

I confess that, despite my pretensions to education, I've forgotten most of my math beyond Algebra II (despite working in a math intensive field -- I just never use calculus in my database work).

I confess I really enjoy some music I know is not in any objective sense "good". Metallica comes to mind.

I confess that my confessions are so boring and repetitious that I once had my pastor ask me "Again?" (Though it does change with time. "I kicked my brother and hit my sister" eventually gets swapped out for "I was spoke uncharitably about some people at work.")

I confess that MrsDarwin was the first woman I ever kissed, but I made up for it by doing so for nearly twenty minutes.

I confess that it was after 2am at the time.

I confess that neither of us thought till afterwards about the fact she was currently dating someone else -- though that was easily remedied.

I confess the penance for our haste in getting together was knowing that as college freshman we had a lot of waiting to do.

I confess this makes me very, very unsympathetic to young people who tell me they "can't wait" and that older people "don't understand".

I confess that people in college increasingly are seeming like "young people" from my vantage point.

I confess that liturgically I often feel like a man without a country: not being modern enough to enjoy the all too common guitar mass, not being Eastern enough to feel I can commit to the Byzantine rite, and not liking the lengthy silences of the Tridentine mass. I prefer a "high" Novus Ordo (whether in Latin or English) but they are harder to come by than one might wish.

I confess to pronouncing the double-L in Amarillo like a Y, and not intending to stop.

I confess I once laughed outloud at MrsDarwin when she pronounced La Jolla the way it's spelled.

I confess I sometimes have the urge to do housecleaning at strange times (often when angry) but can't seem to get into a routine of being helpful around the house.

I confess I like pants.

I confess this has gone on long enough.

The Meme of Three (inflicted by FideiDefensor/College Catholic)

This coming Sunday, the Catholic Church celebrates the Feast of Christ the King. The Church will begin a new Liturgical year, beginning with the joyous season of Advent in anticipation of Christmas. This is a wonderful opportunity for Catholics to reflect on how they've lived their Faith this past year, and how they'd like to live it in the coming Liturgical year. So, Here's the meme. In honor of the Blessed Trinity, we:

1. Write three things for which you're grateful to God in this past liturgical year.
I. New life.
II. Benedict XVI.
III. That my oldest daughter had just enough attention span now to say one Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be quietly with me after communion. (It keeps her from scrambling about for a few minutes and hopefully will help her understand this is when we pray quietly.)

2. Write three ways in which you hope to improve you're relationship with God in this coming liturgical year.
I. Manage to pay attention through one full mass -- monkeys permitting.
II. Finally manage to finish reading Theology of the Body.
III. Start saying at least one hour of the Divine Office each day -- a habit which monkeys and laziness have pushed out of our lives over the last few years.

3. Pass this on to three other bloggers.
Sorry. Shan't.

Okay, it's gotten far too late, so I'm going to tackle the Top Ten Influences meme tomorrow...