Because most philosophies that frown on reproduction don't survive.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The passing of the old order

On Friday night, Noogs wandered off from the dinner table and sat on the couch. A moment later we heard a plaintive cry, "Mommy, I spit." And sure enough, the girl had hurled her bread salad and salsa (and a cup of milk and two pilfered bananas) all over the arm and right cushion of the couch. A clean-up effort ensued -- Darwin took Noogs; I handled the couch. His charge came cleaner than mine did.

And as I wiped layer after layer of dirt from the couch and liberally spritzed Fabreze, it came to me: it was really time for a new couch.

It's not just that we had to cut off the attached arm cushion because it couldn't be cleaned. It's not just that now there's a bright spot of washed upholstery that still smells faintly of vomit. It's that the cushions are ripping in ways that can't be repaired. It's that the couch is at least twenty years old and was second-hand when we got it. It's that it was originally part of a sectional and so has one arm higher than the other, making it unconducive to slipcovering. It's that there are cigarette burns on one cushion (we keep that side down) from the previous owner's chain-smoking brother. It's that the couch used to be red and is now a shade charitably described as "dirt".

So it's time to hit up the classifieds and Craig's List and Freecycle.

This is what I'd like.

This is what I'll probably get.


Darwin said...

It's one thing to get an ugly couch, but I refuse to get a couch that is both ugly and foreign. You must pick one or the other.

F. S. Poesy said...

Did you mean the title of your post to be "The passing of the old odor"? Sorry, couldn't resist.

I really feel for you! After 18 years of marriage, many of them spent on This End Up furniture (holds up to children but is uncomfortable as all get out) we finally got a new couch and love seat thanks to a perfectly timed tax refund check. It's like those 18 years of pain have just melted away. Good luck with your search for a new couch. Is there a patron saint of couches we should be praying to?

Anonymous said...

Oh, no! I hope she's feeling better! I have not had to deal with any horrible throw-up incidents yet...knock on wood....besides the typical spit-up. We just treated ourselves to a new couch and chair to replace an old one we got for $3 when we were first married. It was pink plaid and it had seen better days!

Amber said...

Good luck, good luck, good luck!! I think couches are amongst the hardest things to find - new or used. If you look at new ones, they are either absurdly expensive and/or completely uncomfortable. If you're looking for used, they seem to only come on the market when they have seen many better days. But hey, maybe you'll find a gem. Although given your description of what you have, you should have a good chance of finding something at least a little bit better! *grin*

We used to have my husband's college couch - completely ripped cushions, springs sticking out, the whole nine yards. We bought the cheapest couch we could find (about $350, I believe) and while it isn't the greatest couch in the world, it is at least holding up reasonably well. I bought a slipcover for it about a year ago and that made a vast improvement. I can't imagine having a couch without a slipcover at this point!

The Opinionated Homeschooler said...

Hit the thrift stores about a week after Christmas, when all the people who got new living room suites have had their old (but perfectly good) ones picked up and taken away. That's how we furnished our flat when Eudoxus was just starting out. It's one step up (barely) from retrieving it from the curb in front of a stranger's house.