Because most philosophies that frown on reproduction don't survive.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Mother is not angry, dear.

Life lessons for two-year-olds:

1. This is number one. The most important thing. If you feel like you have to poop, do it in the potty. I cannot stress this enough.

2. If your diaper starts to leak, do not move around. Stay in one place, and I will come to you.

3. If you leak onto the kitchen floor, do not attempt to clean up the mess with a broom.

4. Do not hide your cleaning attempt under a kitchen towel.

5. Do not then step in the other mess, while I'm cleaning up the first, after I told you not to.

Ancillary advice for older sisters: When I ask you to watch the baby while I clean up his big sister, do not make him fly. For my sake, if not for his.

I feel like I'm always harping on the same damn theme.


Melanie Bettinelli said...

Oh dear. Sounds like you've had quite the morning.

Anonymous said...

"This is number one. The most important thing. If you feel like you have to poop, do it in the potty."

Oh, I know what the problem is. This is actually number two.

Whatever the numbering, it took my son until his fourth birthday to figure it out.

Jennifer @ Conversion Diary said...

I would add from my morning:

If you insist on unraveling every single roll of toilet paper in the bathroom and scattering it everywhere, please do not try to clean it up by stuffing said toilet paper in the toilet.

CMinor said...

Well, they do outgrow it eventually.
Then you find youself harping on other damn themes.

The Opinionated Homeschooler said...

I'd like to say it gets better, but just this morning I was explaining in miffed tones to the 12-year-old that the same week that you have walked off from your 50-year-old missal at Mass (still unlocated) AND left your expensive fencing gear at class (AND taken someone else's instead) is NOT the week to leave at home your assignment notebook AND the homemade lunch Mom lovingly assembled for you.

Is there something in the hormones of adolescent girls that makes them jump up and run off, leaving everything behind? Is this her brain doing some sort of prep for leaping away from her parents?

Anonymous said...

My three year old still takes naps with a diaper to prevent unintended messes.

The other day she woke up with a messy diaper. She knew that she needed to be cleaned up. She got the wipes out, took off her diaper and promptly sat on the carpet to wipe herself up.

Of course, this got poo on the carpet where she sat. When she realized this, she sat down in another spot to clean the carpet. Which got poo on the carpet where she sat. Repeat seven times.

After she decided that she had sufficiently cleaned up, she covered the poo spots with clean wipes. And then she got out new underwear and went back to sleep.

What a surprise waited for her parents!

Kyle Cupp said...

Interesting. This is why I delegate potty matters to the wife unit. I'll have to ask her if she has add to deal with similar situations with our two-year-old.

Unknown said...

son-and-heir painted a wall with the contents of a diaper once. A regular impresionist or abstract expresionist I always get those two confused. When I got it all cleaned up (including the artist) and stopped crying I had to laugh.

That was when we decided that he was probably ready to be potty trained.