Because most philosophies that frown on reproduction don't survive.

Friday, June 18, 2010

I guess it's better than, "You're so fat!"

Someone I see around at church came up to me the other week and said, "I hadn't realized you were pregnant!"

I was 35 weeks pregnant.

Things like this make me question: when people say this, does it mean that previously they just thought I was fat? Because it's pretty unmistakable, in whatever I wear, that my stomach sticks out past my bust. I'm carrying around a good 30 extra pounds, and that weight has got to go somewhere. So if it isn't immediately obvious that I'm pregnant, what exactly does it look like?

And how does that jibe with the people who say, "Oh, you're so tiny! When I was that far along, I was just huge!" Is there some sort of mental shift people do when they know someone is pregnant, in which the proportions of the body suddenly change?

Anyway, we report, you decide. Here are two gratuitous belly shots -- I'm 37 weeks today.

That's the head of the last tenant. He is still blond -- what is that?

I guess the point is, I feel achy and huge. I lumber when I walk, and the amount of effort it takes me to roll over in bed at night is elephantine. So it's cold comfort to hear someone say, "You look so small!" when I feel like a whale and baby is bouncing on my bladder and kicking my ribcage.

My friends, I've run out of patience with being pregnant. Baby can arrive any time she pleases.


Anonymous said...

No, sorry, you are tiny. You look like me in the mid to late 20s (weeks, that is). But of course that matters not one bit to the physical impact of 30 lbs + 1 human being! Good luck, and congratulations,


Jordana said...

I look like a whale. You *are* tiny. But that doesn't help the discomfort factor at all, I know. Almost there!

Catholic Bibliophagist said...

We all "carry" in different ways which has a lot to do with how others perceive how far along we are in pregnancy. Here's hoping the baby doesn't dally any longer than necessary.

Jenny said...

I am also 37 weeks and everyone keeps telling me how good I look. I feel huge and tired and sore. I wonder how bad I must really look given that everyone wants to reassure me that I look good.

I looked at a picture of myself last night at about 37 weeks with the oldest. Now that was tiny!

mrsdarwin said...

I wonder how bad I must really look given that everyone wants to reassure me that I look good.

My point exactly!

HBanan said...

Obviously pregnant from the side, and just a little hippy from the front. I can understand people's confusion because your front view actually doesn't look so different from a lot of women. Including non-pregnant me :( And I'm not even overweight! From the side, yep, I can tell there's a baby in there & not a fondness for cake.

Barb said...

I agree with HBanan...obviously pregnant from the side but more difficult to tell from the front. Your clothes are also very slimming colors I think. If you wore white or very light clothing you might look larger. But I definitely believe that you're miserable!!
As for that blond hair...didn't Will have blond hair when he was little? My Michael was also very blond when he was little and didn't start turning dark until he was three.

TS said...

You don't look a day over 25 weeks!

Foxfier said...

Add me to the list that wouldn't be able to tell from the front.

In my world, "huge" is "can rest the plate on her stomach and watch the baby kick it."

Cincydarwin said...

Yeah, from the side you look like a hot pregnant chick. From the front you look like me. Which means either that I look pregnant, or you look like a 19-year-old college student. I'm inclined to think the latter... ;)

Anonymous said...

I had this experience with a friend of mine--it's possible, esp in solid colors like what you have on in the pics, that the topography wasn't noticed. With me, I just totally missed the clearly pregnant belly on the front of my friend :) and nothing about the rest of her clued me in. Sort of like just seeing the front picture you gave--if I were talking to you and therefore focused on your face, any cursory info I got about the rest of you might not include (at first) that you were clearly visibly pregnant. So what your church acquaintance might be saying is, "Duh! I don't know how I missed this--now that I've noticed, it seems pretty clear, but I was so oblivious up to now that I totally missed that you are pregnant!" (with no comment on relative fatness/nonfatness implied)

My word verification is Pergo--think they're trying to get in on your floor-redo project?


Becky said...

You are definitely tiny but noticibly pregnant. And I don't blame you for feeling so tired. You're not used to carrying all the extra weight. I, on the other hand, look pregnant all the time. An extra 30 lbs is but one mexican meal away. Will pray for a good and fast delivery.

Julia said...

I've done that -- not noticed someone's pregnant until it's waaaay obvious -- but I've never admitted my obliviousness to the woman! Could be that this person is preoccupied with something in her own life, and has been less observant than usual.

When I gave birth to my first I lived in an Italian neighborhood where every old lady (there were a lot of them!) felt she had the right to comment upon whether my child was dressed properly, was well-fed enough, etc. It bugged the heck out of me until I realized I was reading the comments as nosy criticism. I decided that the real reason people said things was because they were trying to be helpful. So when people made comments I started to reply, "Oh, thank you!" Somehow that helped take the edge off my irritation, and not to take things personally.

As for weariness, after 35 weeks the only necessary response to "How do you feel?" is "Big."