Baby Darwin summoned reporters today to announce that she's decided not to be born.
"I'm comfortable here," she said. "I've got it made. And I get to enjoy everything Mom eats: cookies, cheese, chocolate -- I even had a bit of wine last night!"
A reporter asked her what she would do during Lent, when Mrs. Darwin would be giving up little snacky luxuries such as cookies, and would be trying to eat more austerely. Baby Darwin seemed confused, turning to an aide and demanding to know if this were true. The aide confirmed it.
"Well, this changes my plans. I don't know what's going to happen now," said Baby, and refused to answer any more questions.
Mrs. Darwin reported an upsurge in angry kicks throughout the afternoon.